Adult Hindi Jokes

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Baloon Size (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Son: (pointing to the breast) Mom ye kya hai?
Mom: Ye balloon hai.
Son: Mom aapke balloon kamwali ke balloon se chhote kyun hain?
Mom: Tune kamwali ke kab dekhe?
Son: Jab papa hawa bhar rahe the.

Roz Roz Ka Jhanjhat (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Husband : Main ye roz roz ke condom lagane ki jhanjhat se pareshan ho gaya hoon.
Wife : To phir tum lamination kyun nahi karwa lete!

Sex Education (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Sunny: Papa, aaj se school mein ek period Sex Education ka bhi shuru ho gaya hai.
Papa: Good! Lekin tum Lulli kyon hila rahe ho?
Sunny: Madam ne homework diya hai.

Munna - Munni Duet (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Munni woh din yaad karo
Jab hum tum sath nahate the,
Tum chut pe sabun malti thi ,
Hum land pe jhag udate the.
Munna woh din beet gaye ,
Jab hum tum sath nahate the,
Ab chut chupane ki bari hai,
Munni bharat ki nari hai.

Munni woh din yaad karo
Jab hum tum sath sote the,
Tum chut mein kheti karti thi ,
Hum land pe ganne bote the.
Munna woh din beet gaye ,
Jab chut mein kheti hoti thi,
Ab land ki fusslo ki khatir,
Humne ise banjar bana diya.

Munni woh din yaad karo
Jab luka chipi khelte the,
Tum lahanga pahan kar aati thi,
Aur hum usme chup jate the.
Munna woh din beet gaye,
Jab hamne tumhe chupaya tha,
Ab tum to jaat ke bhalu ho,
Lahange me shahad ka chhatta hai.

Munni woh din yaad karo,
Jab sath deewali khele the,
Tum chut pe tikli rakhti thi ,
Hum land se foda karte the.
Munna woh din beet gaye,
Jab chut pe tikli fodi thi.
Ab chut hamari pyari hai,
Aur loda tera bhikhari hai.

Munni woh din beet gaye
Han munni woh din beet gaye.
Ab chut ke darshan ki khatir ,
Hum chut chalisa padhte hai,
Par chut nahi darshan deti,
Hum land se ladte rahte hai.
Par waqt hamara aayega.
Jab hum bhi tum ko chodenge,
Tum land land chillaogi
Hum chut me danda pelenge.
Munni munne ko kam na samajh
Yeh teri phudi chodega..
Tu pair pakad kar royegi..
Teri chut me keeel (nails) thokega

Fine (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Principal said "If any boy go 2 da gurlz hostel rs. 100 fine for 1st time, 200 rs. for 2nd time, 500 for 3rd time.."
Munna Bhai Bola "Monthly Pass ka kitna lagega mamu"

Is It Infection (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Lady: Doc. I got brown discharge at my vagina …. is it infection?
Doc: How often do u hve sex?
Lady: Once a month.
Doc: Yeh infection nahi, zang lag gaya hai!!!

Chaman Bhai Ka Area (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Ek area mein Bhai rehta hai, Chaman Bhai..
Ab uskey area mein jo bhi koi lafda hota hai to police se pehle Chaman Bhai ki adalat mein jaata hai….
Ek baar Chaman Bhai ke area mein rape ho jata hai, aur jisney game bajayi hoti hai ukso pakad ke Chaman Bhai ke paas leke jatey hain…
Chaman Bhai pehley to bahut shanti se, style mein, us sey baat karta hai… kuch is tarah se…
Chaman : Kya re? Tere ko maloom nahi yeh apun ka area hai?
Mujrim : Haan maloom hai na bhai.
Chaman : Phir kaise himmat ki rape karne ki apun ke area mein?
Mujrim : Ab kya boloon bhai, kismat kharab thi.
Chaman : Chal mere ko sub kuchh sach sach bata kya aur kaise hua?
Mujrim : Abhi kya na… idhar naake pe apun paan khane ke liye aaya…
Chaman : Phir?
Murjim : Apun khade hoke paan kharela tha… aur utne mein samne wali building pe apun ki nazar gayi…
Chaman : Aage bol
Mujrim : Udhar teesre maale pe ek chikni khadi hui thi
Chaman : Phir kya hua?
Mujrim : Apun ko aisa laga ke usne ishaara kiya aane ke liye..
Chaman : Phir tune kya kiya?
Mujrim : Apun socha ke kuchh kaam hoyenga usko…. to apun builidng ke neeche gaya
Chaman : Phir?
Mujrim : Usne Ishare se apun ko upar bulaaya… apun seedi chadte yehich sochrela tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”
Chaman : Chal fatafat aage bol
Mujrim : Apun ne usko jaake bola…. kya kaam hai.. kaiko ishara kiya apun ko?
Chaman : Phir?
Mujrim : Phir kya bhai, apun ko usne ghar ke andar kheech liya
Chaman : (Excited) Phir?
Mujrim : Apun ghar me to chala gaya lekin soch raha tha ki "Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”
Chaman : Aage bol
Mujrim : Usne apun ka haath pakad liya
Chaman : Achcha… Phir?
Mujrim : Sachchi bolta hai bhai haath pakadte hi apun phir socha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”
Chaman : Phir kya hua?
Mujrim : Phir kya tha… Usne bola chikne meri pyaas bujha de
Chaman : Phir tu kya bola (Getting Excited)?
Mujrim : Apun kya bolta, usne apna duppata neechey gira diya
Chaman : To phir kya hua?
Mujrim : Apun ke dimag ki dahi ho gaya, kya mamme (boobs) the saali ke…lekin bhai phir bhi apun socha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”
Chaman : Phir tune kya kiya?
Mujrim : Apun bola ek-do kiss karega aur chala jayega….. zyada boli to body kaam karenga lekin engine nahi kholney ka…. Aakhir, "Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”
Chaman : To phir?
Mujrim : Usne apun ko kheech liya…. sacchi bolta hai bhai aisi katil jawaani apun akkhi life me nahi dekha.
Chaman : Haan, woh to hai…. Tu aage bol (Starts to heat up)
Mujrim : Phir kya tha…. apun ne kiss kiya, mamme (boobs) bhi dabaya…. lekin imaan se bolta hai, soch raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”
Chaman : Aage bol?
Mujrim : Phir usne apni kameez utar di
Chaman : Phir?
Mujrim : Phir salwar, lekin apun ke dil me ekich khayal aa raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”
Chaman : Aage aage?
Mujrim : Phir blouse aur chaddi saali ne sab utar di
Chaman : Sahi mein?
Mujrim : Phir meri pant kheech li.
Chaman : Achcha?
Mujrim : Meri underwear mein haath dal diya.
Chaman : Oh !!
Mujrim : Chaddi utar di meri, lekin apun phir bhi socha "Chaman Bhai k! a area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”
Chaman : (Getting frustrated).
Mujrim : Phir woh haath phiraane lagi.
Chaman : (Half Boiling)
Mujrim : Phir mooh ghumaane lagi….. phir bhi apun yehi soch raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”
Chaman: (About to blast) Aage… aage bol sale….
Mujrim: Chumney Chatney lagi bhaaaaiiii…..lekin bhai kasam se……main yehi soch raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”
Chaman: Abbe teri to…. Chaman Bhai Gaya Maa Chudaney….. tu aage bol!
Mujrim : Yehich…… yehich – apun ne bhi yehi socha bhai…..aur game baja dala.!!!

Shiney Ahuja Qne Liners (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Q: Whats Shiney Ahuja’s fav song?
A: Maid in India!

Q: What kind of disorder does Shiney have ?
A: Bai-polar disorder

Q: What is Shiney Ahuja’s fav mode of transportation?
A: Bai-cycle

Q: What kind of food does shiney like?
A: Home Maid !

Q: Who is Shiney’s fav football player ?
A: Bai Chung Bhutia

Q: What is Shiney Ahuja’s fav subject?
A: Bai-ology

Q: In cricket, what way does Shiney get most of his runs from?
A: Leg-Bai-es.

Q: Which Song did Shiney sing with N’Sync
A: Bai Bai Bai !

Q: What is Shiney’s fav Enrique Iglesias song?
A: Bai-lamos

Shiney Ahuja took the ‘Where in Mumbai should you live’ Facebook quiz, it said he should live in the suburb of Bai-culla.
Q: Why was Shiney Ahuja picked by the Ministry of External Affairs for a official foreign trip?
A: Because he is bai-lingual.

Q: What did Shiney Ahuja say to the police?
A: Let the bai-gones be bai-gones. Let me go home

Q: Why did Shiney Ahuja rush into the doctors dispensary?
A: Because the doctors sign-board said Bai-pass surgeon.

Q: Why was Shiney Ahuja shooed away by the guards outside a public event?
A: Because it said Bai-standers not allowed.

Q: Why did Shiney Ahuja hop on Virar-express train ?
A: Because it stops at Bai-andar station.

Q: Why did Shiney Ahuja want to be in the governing body of an organization?
A: Because he wanted to pass a new bai-law

Q: Why does shiney Ahuja like horror movies ?
A: Because he can see Bai-yanak scenes

Q: What type of code did Shiney Ahuja write when he was a programmer?
A: Bai-nari code

Q: Why does Shiney Ahuja like the Chinese?
A: Because he heard the slogan ‘Hindi-Cheeni bai-bai’

Class Mein Shor (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Class mein shor ho raha tha teacher nahi tha,
Principal entered in class an asked angrily:
Kis ka period chal raha hai?
4 larkian sharmatay hue: Sir Hamara

Positive Attitude (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Girl Friend: Mera rishta aaya hai aur shadi hone wali hy.
Boy Friend: That's Good,
Phir to hum condom ke bina sex kar sakenge.

Gullak aur Ghanti (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Sadhu fati dhoti pehan ker ghar se nikalta hai aur mandir mein puja ke liye jhukta hai. Ek aurat sadhu ki gand ko gullak samajh kar us mein ek sikka daal deti hai.
Sadhu seedha ho ke bolta hai: "Ab ghanti bhi bhaja do"

HONEYMOON (Adult Hindi Jokes)
HONEYMOON
H - Hawas mita do
O - Or chuso
N - Nanga karke
E - Ek hi jhatke mein
Y - Yeh gaya
M - Maar dala
O - Or dalo
O - Or tez
N- Ni..k..a..l g..a. y..a

Shadi Kar Lein (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Boy during Sex: Kyun na hum shadi kar lein, phir hum roz aisa kar sakenge.
Girl: Mazdoor ho mMazdoori karo, factory ka maalik ban-ne ki koshish na karo.

Super Hit Insult (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Wife: Agar dunia sirf 30 minute mein khatam ho rahi ho to tum kya karna chahoge?
Husband: Off course Sex.
Aur baki ke 29 Minutes?

Kaun Bada Hai (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Teacher to student: Aap bade ho ya aap ke papa?
Student: Main.
Teacher: Woh Kaise?
Student: Maine mom ke pass sona chhor dia hai, par papa abhi tak sote hain..

Translate Karo (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Teacher to Pappu, isko english mein translate karo:
Sara ne kapray pehan liye hain.
Pappu: Shit! I am Late.

Shaadi Ki Date (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Girl to boy: Shaadi k liye konsi date rakhien?
Boy: 22 December.
Girl: Koi khaas wajah?
Boy: haan, Saal ki sabse lambi raat isi date ko hoti hai.

3 Girls (Adult Hindi Jokes)
3 Girls having lunch.
1st said: I saw the condoms in boss drawer.
2nd said: I also saw & punchered them.
3rd Said: Haramzadi pehle batana tha na !!

Advertisement (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Cream ke advt mein face dikhaya.
Soap ke advt mein Hath Dikhaya.
Shampoo ke advt mein Baal Dikhaye.
Par whisper ke advt main kuchh nahi dikhaya.
Jaago grahak jaago!

Full Ticket (Adult Hindi Jokes)
Bus Conductor : Bachche ka full ticket lage ga!
Lady : Yeh to abhi nipple chusta hai!
Conductor : Woh to is ka baap bhi choosta hai, to kya uska bhi aadha logi?