Hindi Jokes

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Ek ghane jungle mein (Hindi Jokes)
Ek ghane jungle mein aap akele rat ke 2 baje ka time..zoron se hawa chalti hui..samne ped par ek lash jamin se latki hui jiski ankhen bahar lataki hui ..aapke dil men ghabrahat,sanse tej chalti hui..aap us lash ke pas gae ..achanak ped ki tehni tuti n lash aap ke upar giri..
Then..
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Calculate the force with which the body will fall on you.Also calculate the kinetic energy when the body will be at height 6 ft from ground?
(Take g=9.8m/sec sqre,mass=66 kg)

Waqt se pehle aur kismat se zyada (Hindi Jokes)
Kehte hain waqt se pehle aur kismat se zyada kisi ko kuch nahi milta:
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aFsoooooosssss........ .
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Mere paas waqt nahi or

Ladki k paas kismat nahi... :)

Wo aaye hum dekhte rahe (Hindi Jokes)
Wo aaye hum dekhte rahe, wo muskuraye hum chup rahe,
Wo bolte rahe hum sunte rahe, unhone kuchh poocha hum shant rahe,
Jab wo jane lage hum chillaye - "Sir attendance to le lo".

Dosti ho to aisi (Hindi Jokes)
Dosti ho to aisi-----
Viru - Main apna purse ghar bhul aaya hoon mujhe 1000 rs chahiye.
Jai - Dost hi dost ke kaam aata hai, le 10 rs, riksha kar aur purse le ke aaja.

Aaj ka sawal (Hindi Jokes)
Aaj ka sawal
Mohabbat ho jati hai ya karni padti hai?
Very simple..... Ladki sundar ho to ho jati hai aur agar Ameer ho to karni padti hai............

Padosi ke Saath (Hindi Jokes)
Girl : Main pados wale ladke se pyar karti hoon aur uske saath bhaag rahi hoon.
Baap : Thankyou, mere paise aur time dono bach gaye.
Girl : Main letter padh rahi hoon jo mummy pakh kar gayi hain.

Ek Gadhe Ke Saath Zindagi (Hindi Jokes)
Ladki ka baap : Main nahi chahata ki meri ladki apni poori zindagi ek gadhe ke saath guzaare.
Ladki ka Boyfriend : Bus isiliye to main usse shaadi kar ke yahan se le jaana chahata hoon.

SCARY STORY (Hindi Jokes)
READ THIS SCARY STORY IF YOU DARE.
On a rainy day,
an old man was standing with a book for sale.
A young man came to buy.
He bought the book for Rs.3000.
Old man advised
"DONT OPEN LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK othrwise YOU’ll get fainted"
Man finished the book with great fear but didnt open the last page.
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But,after a week,
Out of curiousity he opend the last page and..

he almost fainted to see..
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Retail Price: Rs 30/-

Mujhese shadi karogi (Hindi Jokes)
Boy: Main last time poochh raha hoon, kya tum mujhese shadi karogi???
Girl: Nahi
Boy: Soch lo………..
Girl: Kaha na nahiiii
Boy: Waiter! Bill alag alag lana!

Shaadi Ki Badhai (Hindi Jokes)
Hijade ek shaadi ki badhai dene gaye.
Haye haye main to 1100 lungi.
Dusri Boli main to 2100 lungi.
Peeche se aawaz aai "Abey 2310 le lo usme FM bhi hai"

Question Paper in Year 2020 (Hindi Jokes)
Question paper in year 2020:
Q.1 Name the cities of PAKISTAN where electricity is found.
Q.2 How does sugar taste? Explain in ur own words.
Q.3 Draw a neat n labelled diagram of a suicide jacket.
Q.4 In ancient times, what was PETROL used for? Support ur answer with examples.
Q.5 Write the complete name of PAKISTAN.
Q.6 Explain principle n working of a Drone?

Kanjoos Boss (Hindi Jokes)
Kanjoos boss 2 worker:
Tumne is saal mehnat se kaam kia hai, is liye 5000 ka bonus cheque de raha hoon.
Agar isi tarha kaam karoge to agle saal is pe sign bhi kar dunga.

Ek kanjoos on his death time (Hindi Jokes)
A kanjoos on his death time.
My wife, Where r u?
Wife: Yes, I’m here.
My sons & daughters r u all here?
Yes, Papa
Kanjoos: To phir bagal wale kamre ka pankha kyun chal raha hai.

Kis ke naam pe (Hindi Jokes)
Pathan ne restaurant phone kiya:
Hello!!
1 zinger burger!
1 fried rice!
1 frech fries!
Bhej do!
Restaurant: Ok, kis ke naam pe?
Pathan: Allah ke naam pe.

Kandhe Pe Bandar (Hindi Jokes)
Ek pathan apne kandhe pe bandar baitha ke ja raha tha.
Paas ek bande ne puchha ye kaun sa janwar ha?
Bandar bola PATHAN.

Sab pathan kaise mar gaye (Hindi Jokes)
Reporter: Khan saab platform par khare sab pathan kaise mar gaye?
Pathan: Ek elaan hua ki train platform par aa rahi hai sabne jaan bachane ke liye patri par chhalaang laga di.
Reporter: Phir aap kaise bach gaye?
Pathan: Main khudkushi ke liye patri par leta tha ye elaan suna to main platform par ja kar lait gaya.

Ramayan - Ram and Rawan (Hindi Jokes)
Here are two engineers, one of them has hacked others website and try to using this. Just imagine if these two engineers named accordingly their nature and other characters also in same manner. Like good man is Ram, Bad man is Rawan, Website is Seeta.com and other characters are also names from Ramayana, this is pure imagination so don't take it seriously and enjoy imagination]
Ram: Someone has hacked my website; I am not sure who is he but I am unable to access it. I must know who has done that, Laxman, Laxman [loudly].
Laxman: Yaa, what happened?
Ram: what the hell were you doing? I appointed you as the chief security software engineer and you couldn’t save your first websites. Someone has hacked Seeta.com.
Laxman: Ram brother, I wasn’t there at the time of hacking Seeta.com needs an Add-on on emergency basis and she was popping up "Need: Golden Deer" again and again. So I went to google.com for the same software and when I again maximized up the Seeta.com it was gone already, Raawan did it, I also disabled the download manager, software update etc using Laxman-Rekha.
Ram: Who is Rekha new joiner?
Laxman: Not bro, it’s a software to prevent viruses, I developed it.
Ram: Oh you developed it, that’s why!, anyway call anyone expert who can trace that how did it happen?
Laxman: I know someone named Jatayu Fadiya, who can trace the whole hacking, but in between if Raawan try to access websites Seeta.com then?
Ram: Don’t Worry, Seeta.com can not allow anyone to access itself it has been made with default user Ram and with a very secure property called "Pativrataa".
You! Call Jatayu immediately.
Laxman: He is out of network area; I think he must be flying high today.
Ram: Call him continuously, and get connected as he comes little lower.
Laxman: Ok.
Laxma:n: [After sometime]: Bro we get it.
Ram: Ok mail me the detailed.
Laxman: I thought it’s urgent.
Ram: ok tail me first but don’t forget the mail, and also CC that mail to Bali and Arjun.
Laxman: Ram, Arjun is not available, it will come in future OS, Microsoft Mahabhatarat.
Ram: Ok, than mail Bali and inform him on mobile also that we need a support to find and destroy the hacker ASAP. Who is he anyway and why did he hack our new website?
Laxman: Talk to jatayu for that… he can explain you in detailed.
Jatayu: Hi Ram.
Ram: Hi Jatayu! What’s this sound?
Jatayu: Actually I am just flying little above. Anyway for you information He is Raawan, an extraordinary mind student from Shivbhakt Institue, owner of Gold Lanka Consultancy in Srilanka, from our OSC Vibhishan we got information that Raawanalso registered a website named Seeta, but Janak rejected his plea, And one of his sister Surabankha also wanted to join your brother’s firm, but Laxman rejected her in interview. That’s why in frustration Raawanhacked our Seeta.com.
Ram: but how did he break Laxman’s Laxam-Rekha software?
Jatayu: He used some fraud name "Swami" and as you know in your company Raghukul you can’t stop someone with names like, "Swami", "Bhikchuk", "Bhakt", etc. Raghukul Reet sadaa chali aayi, "Virus Aa Jaye Par User Naa Jaye".
Ram: Thanks Jatayu, bye. Laxman Mail this to Bali also.
Laxman: ok.
Ram: [After little time] Anyway Laxman what’s the status of Bali, is he progressing in right way.
Laxman: yes I talked to him they are making a mirror way to enter Rawan’s server, ther are making some Ram-Setu bridge for the Path.
Ram: ok. And what else we need to get back Seeta.
Laxman: as per my knowledge, Raawan has few good software to protect his servers, one of them kumbhkaran, Who eats a lot space in installation and very slow software, but provides a good security, and another one is Meghnath, tracing Meghnath is very tough, he is having good knowledge of JAVA and makes himself invisible and than attack using Jar applications.
Ram: I think the bridge process has been completed and we are ready to attack on Kumbhkaran, Meghanath and Raawan finally.
Laxman: I am starting a SCAN using Angad and other small softwares.
Ram: Ok.
[After few minutes]
Ram: what’s the status?
Laxman: Angad foot got hanged somewhere in Raawan’s floor.
Ram: Make it quick, just CTRL+ALT+DEL, that process.
[After Some time]
Laxman: Hi, we cleared Kumbhkaran and Meghnath.
Ram: Good.
Laxman: But there is a problem with Raawan. His server is having 10 different DBA who are working simultaneously.
Ram: oh multi-user.
Laxman: no Multi tasking.
Ram: It’s ok let me give some time to think about this.
[After little time]
Ram: Laxman, we got our website back.
Laxman: How did you do that?
Ram: I used lates Symentec Vesion during all process, which burnt Raawan’s server golden mother board, also that was in contact with Seeta.com so we can have all the updates from there.
Laxman: what’s that software?
Ram: Hanuman…………….. J
[Here Ram was happy with the Hanuman with him he cleared up all the obstacles and get Seeta.com back. Ram appraised him with new designation from friend (software engineer) to very good friend (senior software engineer), package same, Only designation changed]
Laxman: Ram! Seeta.com has two new blogs now.
Ram: What are these?
Laxman: Lav and Kush…..
[So there is always Ram and Rawan around you, sometimes within you]

Doctor ke paas (Hindi Jokes)
Ramu: Tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Bhola: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

Bitten By Mosquitoes (Hindi Jokes)
Pappu was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night.
He got irritated…drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

I Luv U (Hindi Jokes)
Bhola apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Bhola: I’m falling in love.