Sexy SMS

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Excuse for mistake (Sexy SMS)
A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, "You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!" Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, "Take it easy Dear, Can't you see I'm trying to taper off?"

Ppyaar karna nahi aata (Sexy SMS)
Wife 2 husband: Tumhein pyaar karna nahi aata,
Hus: Achha to ye 3 bachhe kya internet se download kiye hain.
Wife: Nahi ye to sharmaji ki pen drive se liye hain.

Difficult Sport to Watch (Sexy SMS)
Which is most difficult sport in the world to watch?
Women's doubles tennis- 9 balls bounce at a time and you don't know which one to watch.

6 Benefits (Sexy SMS)
Six benefits of girls milk.

1. Cat can't drink.
2. No need of glass.
3. No expiry date.
4. Packed in beautiful container.
5. No need to boil. 6. 1+1 offer.

Gift from London (Sexy SMS)
Wife: I am going to London. What gift do you want?
Husband: A British girl.

(Wife return to India)
Husband: where is my gift?
Wife: Wait for nine months.

Heaven & Hell (Sexy SMS)
What is heaven?
Thousand of girls and buckets of beer.
What is hell?
When you come to know that the buckets have holes and girls don't.

Girl and Amul Butter (Sexy SMS)
What's common between a girl and amul butter? Both are utterly butterly delicious when spread. One on bed and another on bread.

Women's life (Sexy SMS)
Women's life is very hard.

Morning: wash the dress.
Noon: dry the dress.
Evening: iron the dress.
Night: remove the dress.
Midnight: search the dress.

Divorce (Sexy SMS)
Judge: Why do you want divorce?
Man: She doesn't satisfy me on bed.
Judge: Is it true madam?
Lady: Damn it! The whole colony is happy, only this idiot has problems.

Girls - Best Vehicle (Sexy SMS)
Girl is the best vehicle in the world front two bumpers, back two bumpers, self lubricant when hot, finger touch ignition, monthly automatic engine oil change, every type of piston fits, highest mileage of nine months in just two ml fuel.

Biology Class (Sexy SMS)
Biology class teacher: All of you draw the male reproductive system.
Student: Sir please close your zip, girls are copying.

300 times a year (Sexy SMS)
Wife read a book and tells her husband, a bull ucks 300 times a year. You don't do quarter of that.
Husband: does the book say the bull ucks the same cow?

Good vs Bad Girl (Sexy SMS)
Difference between good girl and bad girl. Good girl Open a few buttons in hot atmosphere, but bad girl open all button to make the atmosphere hot.

During Dinner (Sexy SMS)
How to tell your girlfriend if you are going to urine during dinner?
Dear, I've to shake hands with a close friend whom I am going to introduce you later.

Cheat (Sexy SMS)
Man with no sex organ used a vibrator for years one day wife caught and asked: how dare you cheat me?
Man: I will explain about the toy, can you explain about kids.

What is sex (Sexy SMS)
What is sex?

Its science with wife,
Its art with girlfriend,
Its commerce with prostitute and
Its social service with aunties.

Husband's Face (Sexy SMS)
Doctor: Do you watch your husband face during sex?
Lady: I did once and he looked very angry.
Doctor: Why?
Lady: because he was watching from the window.

Small (Sexy SMS)
A boy wanted to have sex with girl friend ashamed of his small sex organ decided to bring girl friend in dark place opened his zip and put his sex organ on girl friend hands.
Girl friend: No thanks, I don't smoke.

After 1st night (Sexy SMS)
Midnight hot: After 1st night.
Husband: Dear what do you think about our first night?
Wife: darling 5% pain, 5% enjoyment and 90% old memories.

Lady Traffic Police (Sexy SMS)
One man married lady traffic police. Friend asks how your 1st night was. She collected Rs.100 from me for over speed, Rs.200 for wrong side entry, Rs.500 for no helmet.