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Funny Jokes

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Funny Jokes
Tax Structure in India
Tax Structure in India

Tax Structure in India funny But True.

Question 1.. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 2 : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!

Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI

Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

Question 5: How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory...
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

Question 8 : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 9 : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes -- Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No -- Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX

Question 12 : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX

Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Services?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX

Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX

Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX

Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX

Question 17 : Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE

Question 18 : How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE

Question 19.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX

Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY

21) INDIAN : Can I die now??
Ans : Wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!

Indian Business Tactics
Indian Business Tactics

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in Washington D.C. One from Bangladesh, another from India and the third from China.

They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Bangladesh contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)".

The Chinese contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. ($300 for materials, $300 for my team and $100 profit for me)".

The Indian contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, outraged says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Indian contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from China to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

Income Tax Problem
Income Tax Problem

My income tax return form has been sent back to me because in response to question for "Number of dependents on you?".

I replied : 65% of population who doesn't pay taxes."2.1million illegal Immigrants; 9,00,000 criminals in over 85 prisons.....and above all 769 Idiots in parliament.

They said this was not an acceptable answer ..!!

I am still wondering... Who the hell did I miss out?

From the day we met
From the day we met

Boy : From the day we met I haven 't drink or smoked ...
Girl : How sweet of u, ...r u madly in love with me?
.
.
.
.
Boy: SHUT UP !,
U MADE MY
POCKETS EMPTY.

Date with husband's best friend
Date with husband's best friend

Woman on date with husband's best friend;

*phone ring*

Woman: Yes? Ok , fine , bye!
Turns to her Lover and laughs: My husband says he is playing golf with U.


Height Of Confidence
Height Of Confidence

Once many professors were called n asked to sit in an airplane to go on a journey...
After they sat, they were informed that the plane is made by their students,
All of them ran n got out of the plane except one ...

People asked him the reason ...

He said:
"If it is made by my students, It won't even start"

Race for Mobile
Race for Mobile

Girl- Nice mobile. Where did u buy?
Boy- I won this in a running race.
Girl- How many people participated?
Boy- Mobile owner, police and me.

Shortest Horror Story
Shortest Horror Story

3 FRIENDS living in a room at 100th floor of the building!
One day LIFT not working...!
So they decided to tell a story for time pass!
They start to walk in steps!
1st person told an action story upto 50th floor!
...
2nd person told a comedy story upto 99th floor!
...
3rd person told most horror story which had only 1 sentence...!
and that is

"I FORGOT THE ROOM KEY IN CAR"



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