Hindi Jokes

Musafir: Beta aap mujhe thoda paani pila denge.
Bachcha: Agar lassi ho jaaye to..
Musafir: Tab to bahut hi achcha hoga
Bachcha lassi le aaya. Musafir ne 5 lote lassi peene ke baad bachche se poochha
"Beta tumhare ghar mein koi lassi nahi peeta"
Bachcha: Peet to sab hain lekin aaj lassi mein chooha gir gaya tha aur ussi mein mar gaya.
Musafir ne gusse mein lota zameen par de mara.
Bachcha rote huye bola "Mummy inhone lota tod diya, ab toilet kya lekar jaayenge"

"8 secrets of success" U can find in your room.

1.ROOF says - Aim high
2.FAN says - Be cool
3.CLOCK says - Every minute is precious
4.MIRROR says - Reflect before u act
5.CALENDER says - Be up to date
7.DOOR says - Don't miss the opportunity
8.BED says - SAB BAKWAS HAI, Mast chadar odho aur so jao.

Modern Love:

Ek ladka blood bank mein: Sister mujhe ek botal khoon de do.
Sister: Blood group batao.
Ladka: Koi bhi chalega.
Sister: Kaise.
Ladka: Mujhe love letter likhna hai.

5 year old boy :- I love u mom
Mom:- Aww! I Love u too......

16 year old boy:- I love u mom
Mom :- Sorry! I have no money..
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25 year old boy:- I love u mom.
Mom:- Hmm... kaun hai woh? kahan rehti hai?
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Moral:- Maa sab jaanti hai
But the best is..
35 yr old man:- Mom I love you
Mom: Beta maine pehle hi bola tha uss kamini se shaadi mat karna

And the last one...
55 yr old man:- Mom I love you...
Mom:- Beta main kisi bhi paper par sign nahi karoongi...

Ek aadmi ka dil kitna bada hota hai aur aurat ka kitna chhota aap khud hi dekh leejiye
Ek aurat ke dil mein sirf uske lover, apne pati aur apne bachchon ke liye hi jagah hoti hai
Lekin aadmi ke dil mein to
Apni lover
Dost ki lover
Bhai ki lover
Padosi ki lover
Bivi ki saheli
Behan ki saheli
Padosan ki saheli
Apni saali
BHai ki saali
Saale ki saali
Saali ki saheli
Saamne waali
Peechhe waali
Baaju waali
Upar wali
Baaju waali
Neeche waali
Sabji waali
Doodh waali
Kapde waali
Kaam waali
aur aakhir mein thodi bahut apni patni ke liye bhi jagah hoti hai
Sach mein aadmi ka dil bahut bada hota hai

Bank mein customer ne cheque dete hue poochha ki "Madam yeh kitne dino mein clear ho jaayega"

Madam: Kam se kam do-teen din lagenge.

Customer: Lekin madam itna time kyon lagega? Jis bank ka cheque maine diya hai woh to saamne waali duilding mein hi hai.

Madam (Bade hi shaant swar mein) : Sir main aapko kaise samjhun, procedure to follow karna hi padta hai na. Maan leejiye ki aap shamshaan ke saamne hi mar jaate hain to ghar waale aapki laash ko ghar le jaayenge ya wahin saamne nipta denge. Boliye?
Customer behosh!

Ek Boodha ek ladki se takra gaya.
Boodhe ne ladki se bola: Sorry!

Ladki: Andha hai kya..... Dikhta nahi hai... Is umar mein bhi ye sab... Pata nahin kahan se aa jaate hain!!!
Yeh bolkar jaise hi woh ladki aage badhi, ek handsome sa ladka us se takra gaya.
Ladka: Sorry...
Ladki, sharmaate hue, "Koi baat nahin. it's okay!!!

Woh boodha yeh sab dekh raha tha. Usne aakar ladki se poochha: MERI SORRY KI SPELLING GALAT THI KYA??

Pakistani, American aur Indian ek ship mein ja rahe the..

Achaanak ek Jinn aaya aur bola: "Samundar mein koi cheez pheko, agar maine dhoondh li to main tumhein maar dunga aur na dhoondh paya to main tumhara Gulam".

Pakistani ne sui phenki.

Jinn ne dhoondh li aur use maar diya.

American ne memory card pheka.
Jinn ne dhoondh liya aur use bhi maar diya.

Indian ne kuchh phenka...
Ginn ne bohot dhoondha, dhoondh dhoondh ke thak gaya aur poochhne laga.
"Batao mere aaka main haar gaya"

(Socho Indian ne aisa kya phenka hoga ki jinn uska gulam ban gaya?)
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Indian bola: "Main bhi tera baap hoon, maine Disprin ki goli fenki thi,
Chal Beta, ghar chal bohot kaam pada hai"

JINN Shocked & INDIAN ROCKED.