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Marriage Jokes

Marriage Jokes

Wedding Jokes or Marriage Jokes or Husband Wife Joke are the description of funny situation between husband and wife. In these type of humour generally there is a situation in which husband is tortured by his wife and joke describes it humorously. We have a good collection of funny marriage jokes. These are original and best in its category. Hope you will enjoy it. You can mail these marriage jokes to your friends or someone you want. If you have some wedding jokes please send it to us and we will display your it on our website. Also don't forget to rate these jokes because it will help us to improve our collection.

Marriage Jokes
Namak Le Aao
Namak Le Aao

Wife to her husband: Suno, aate hue zara kitchen se namak lete aana.
Husband (kitchen se): Yahan to koi Namak nahi hai.
Wife: Mujhe pata tha, tum toh ho hi andhe, kaamchor kahin ke. Ek kaam dhang se nahi kar sakte, bas bahane banaate rehte ho, zindagi mein kuch to kaam karo. Mujhe pehle se hi pata tha ki tumhe nahin milega,
Isliye mein pehle hi le aayi thi.
Husband shocked!

Bhartiya Naari
Bhartiya Naari

Husband aur Wife mein baatcheet bandh thi

Subah husband ko jaldi jaana tha.. uss ne raat ko paper par likha

"Mujhe subah 5 baje utha dena.. urgent kaam hai..!!!"

Aur paper wife ke takiye ke paas rakh diya...
.
.
.
Subah 8 baje jab utha toh dekha uske
upar bahut saare paper pade the

aur sab par likha tha,
"uth jao 5 baj gaye",
"pls. uth jao, warna late ho jaaoge"

Moral- Wife se panga loge to yahi haal hoga..

Khana Kisne Banaya
Khana Kisne Banaya

Husband: Aaj khana tumhari maa ne banaya hai kya?

Wife: Haan..... Lekin tumhe kaise pata chala?

Husband: Roz khaane mei kaale baal nikalte the aaj safed nikle hain.

Poems
Poems

Poems written by WIFE and HUSBAND.

WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand it got washed..
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far

HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

WIFE:
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like you, should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but outside, laughing at you.

Cause of Depression
Cause of Depression

MEN's Depression

- Business Slow Chal raha hai..

- Payment Time pe nahin aa rahi hai..

- Telephone/Light ka bill bharna hai..

- Gharwali ko Anniversary pe Gold leke dena hai..

- Family ki baaki demands bhi poori karni hai...

WOMEN's Depression

- Tailor se dress mangwana hai..

- TV pe jo Loreal ki nayi Lipstick dikhayi hai, Aaj sham Market mein Uski enquiry karni hai..

- Kitty friends ko apni nayi Fossil watch dikhani hai..

- Mall mein 50% Off Sale lagi hui hai, shopping ko jana hai..

- Bachcho ka Open Day hai... Uffff koi dress he nahin samajh mein aa rahi hai..

- Nanad se phone pe baat karni hai..

- Tupperware wali ko aaj ghar pe bulana hai..

- Bete ki result aaya hai(46%), kaamwali bai ke liye ek kilo mix mithai mangani hai..

- Aaj na jaane Pankhudi ka kya hoga..

- Raat ko baahar se kya mangaoon khane ke liye..

- Ye mobile ki battery bhi jaldi jaldi down ho jaati hai, main kisi se zyada baat bhi nahin karti..

- Yeh Landline ka bill 2560/- kyun aaya hoga?

- Ye Deepika/Aalia/Kareena/Katrina itni over acting kyun karti hain?

- Kal mandir kya pehen ke jaoongi?

- Profile Pic. change kiye 15 minute ho gaye hain.....abhi tak ek bhi like ya comment kyun nahi aaya hai..


Evolution of man
Evolution of man

Evolution of man:

Shadi se pehle-hero no. 1
Shadi k baad- coolie no. 1

Shadi se pehle: maine pyar kiya
Shadi k baad- ye maine kya kiya?

Shadi se pehle- Janeman mat jao
Shadi k baad- jaan mat khao

Shadi se pehle- tum bin raha na jaye
Shadi k baad- tum ko saha na jaye

Shadi se pehle- kuch to bolo
Shadi ke baad- kabhi chup b ho lo

Shadi se pehle- I luv you
Shadi k baad- aaj phir aalu?

Shadi se phle- milne kab aaogi?
Shadi k baad- mayke kab jaogi?

Love Your Husband
Love Your Husband

Every wife must read this.....

Love ur husband
When he orders you to make tea or coffee.
He wants to feel fresh
to listen your nonstop talks.....

Love him
If he looks at all the beautiful females.
he is just checking that you are still the best.

Love him
If criticise your cooking,
he is still improving his taste.....

Love him
If snores at night and disturbs your sleep.
He is trying to prove that he is the most
relaxed person after marriage with you!

Love him
If he forgets to
give you a gift on your birthday
he is saving money for your future.

Love him...
Because you don't have a choice ;-)

Burger or Kiss
Burger or Kiss

Wife: Can u help me in the gardening ?

Husband: What do u think I am...a gardener ?

Wife: Can u fix the door handle ?

Husband: What do you think I am... a Carpenter ?

In the evening, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.

Husband: Who did all this ?

Wife: Our neighbour.

But he gave me 2 options.....

Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.

Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger.

Wife: What do u think I am.......McDonalds ?!!




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