Marriage Jokes

Marriage Jokes

Wedding Jokes or Marriage Jokes or Husband Wife Joke are the description of funny situation between husband and wife. In these type of humour generally there is a situation in which husband is tortured by his wife and joke describes it humorously. We have a good collection of funny marriage jokes. These are original and best in its category. Hope you will enjoy it. You can mail these marriage jokes to your friends or someone you want. If you have some wedding jokes please send it to us and we will display your it on our website. Also don't forget to rate these jokes because it will help us to improve our collection.

Marriage Jokes
Kisko Bachayenge
Kisko Bachayenge

Game Show Host: Agar aapki biwi aur saas par koi tiger hamla kar de to aap kisko pehle bachaayenge?
Pappu: Beshak tiger ko, aakhir bechare bache hi kitne hain.

If I Won The Lottery
If I Won The Lottery

Husband : What would you do if I won the lottery?
Wife: I would take all money and leave you
Husband: Good I won $12, take it and get lost.

Man's Situation - Before and After Marriage
Man's Situation - Before and After Marriage

How a man's situation changes:

Before marriage: Hero No. 1
After marriage: Coolie No. 1

Before marriage: I'm in love
After marriage: Why did I fall in love!

Before marriage: Jaan-e-man mat jao
After marriage: Jaan mat khao

Before marriage: Can't live without you
After marriage: Can't live with you

Before marriage: Kuchh to bolo
After marriage: Kabhi chup bhi ho lo

Before marriage: I love you
After marriage: Aaj phir aaloo

And the best one..

Before marriage: Milne kab aaogi
After marriage: Maaike kab jaaogi.

Bechara Pati
Bechara Pati

Biwi: Zara kitchen se namak lete aana.
Bechara Pati: Yahan to namak nahi mil raha hai.
Biwi : Hey Bhagwan, mere baap ko tumhare jaisa hi Soordas milna tha.
Mujhe pata tha tum to ho hi andhe
Kaamchor ho...
Nikamme ho....
Gadhe ho....
Ek kaam dhang se nahi kar sakte
Bas bahaane banaate ho
Zindagi mein kuchh to kaam karo...
Tumhein nahi milega, isiliye pehle hi le aayi thi.

Arrange vs Love Marriage
Arrange vs Love Marriage

Arrange marriage is...!
"While you are walking, unfortunately a snakes bites you"

But love marriage is...!

Dancing in front of cobra and singing
"Wanna be my chammak challo"

Don't Try This
Don't Try This

Put your wife in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you !
(You are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now!divorced; and living happily with their dog)
Don't laugh loud ----
The extended version says...
Put your husband in a room & lock it.
Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before

Wife Ki Nakal
Wife Ki Nakal

Wife: Khana kha liya?
Husband: Khana kha liya?

Wife: Batao na.
Husband: Batao na.

Wife: Please... batao na.
Husband: Please..... batao na.

Wife: Achcha ji! Meri nakal?
Husband: Achcha ji! Meri nakal?

Wife: I Love U!!!
Husband: Haan yaar, khana kha liya maine...

Insaan Aur Khuda
Insaan Aur Khuda

Ek din khuda ne mujhse kaha: "Mat karintezar is janam mein uska, Milna mushkil hai.
Maine bhi keh diya: "Lene de maza intezar ka, agle janam mein to mumkin hai."

Phir khuda ne kaha: "Mat kar itna pyar bahut pachhtayega."
Muskura ke maine kaha: "Dekhte hain tu kitna mujhe tadpayega."

Phir khuda ne kaha: "Bhool ja use, Chal tujhe jannat ki apsra se milata hoon."
Maine kaha: "Aa neeche dekh mere pyar ka muskurata chehra, tujhe jannat ki apsra bhulwata hoon.

Gusse mein khuda ne kaha: "Mat bhool apni aukaat tu to ek insaan hai."
Hans kar maine kaha: "Toh mila de mujhe mere pyar se aur saabit kar ki tu hi Bhagwan hai."

Phir khuda ne guuse mein uski mujhse shadi kara di. Sab bhoot utar gaya.

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