Three nuns were talking.
The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day, and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines."
"What did you do?" the other nuns asked.
"Well, of course I threw them in the trash."
The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry, and I found a bunch of condoms!"
"Oh, my!" gasped the other nuns.
"What did you do?" they asked.
"I poked holes in all of them!" she replied.
The third nun fainted.
Fly drops 6 inches
There was a fly flying over a pond in the middle of a fog. He thought, "If I dropped 6 inches, I could clear this fog and fly across the pond."
On the other side of the pond, there is a frog who thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, he'll clear that fog and I'll have breakfast."
Underneath a lily pad, there is a bass who thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the frog will go for the fly and I'll have lunch."
On the bank, there is a bear who thinks, "If the fly drops 6 inches, the frog with go for the fly, the bass will go for the frog, and I'll have lunch too."
On the hill, there is a hunter who thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the frog will go for the fly, the bass will go for the frog, the bear will go for the bass, and I'll have a clear shot at the bear."
A couple of feet behind the hunter, there is a mouse who thinks, "If the fly drops 6 inches, the frog will go for the fly, the bass will go for the frog, the bear will go for the bass, the hunter will get his shot, and I will get the cheese off his sandwich."
Up at the barn, a cat is watching this whole affair and thinks, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the frog will go for the fly, the bass will go for the frog, the bear will go for the bass, the hunter will get his shot, the mouse will get the cheese, and I will get the mouse."
So the fly drops 6 inches, the frog gets his fly, the bass gets his frog, the bear gets his bass, the hunter gets his shot, the mouse gets his cheese, the cat jumps for the mouse and falls in the water.
The moral of the story is that every time a fly drops 6 inches, you're gonna get a wet pussy.
More Sexy Jokes
Three nuns were talking.
Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven.
They buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came home from work and David ran up to him yelling, "Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today."
"What?" his father replied.
"When I got home from school, Mommy was laying on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air yelling, 'Jesus, I'm coming, Jesus I'm coming.' If it wasn't for Uncle Terry holding her down we would have lost her for sure!"
A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.
When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
"What? You're crazy!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
"No!! Someone may see -- a relative, a neighbor..."
"At this time of the night? No one will show up..."
"I've already said No, and NO!"
"Honey, it's just a small blowie...I know you'd like it, too..."
"No! I've said NO!"
"My love... Don't be like that..."
At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!"