Superman

What is defference between man and Superman?

Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.




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Sleeping Positions

According to a new article in 'Cosmopolitan' magazine, they say the position you sleep in says a lot about you.

They say women who sleep on their sides are sensitive, women who sleep on their stomachs are competent, and women who sleep on their backs with their ankles behind their ears are very popular.

Valentine Rhymes..............

These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
but I only slept with you, because I was pissed


I thought that I could love no other,
Until, that is, I met your brother.


Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.


Of loving beauty you float with grace,
If only you could hide your face.


Kind, intelligent, loving and hot,
This describes everything you are not.


I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.


I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!


My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.


I see your face when I am dreaming,
That's why I always wake up screaming.


My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".


What inspired this amorous rhyme?,
Two parts vodka, one part lime!.

Bck down to earth

A man died and went to God.

GOD: I have no place for you in heaven. If you want you may go to hell or back down to earth.

MAN: I'll go back down to earth but make me something that has wings and that can suck blood.

GOD: ok

So then God makes the man something that has wings and that can suck blood... a mosquito.

One day the mosquito dies and goes to God

GOD: I have no place for you in heaven. if you want you may go to hell or go back down to earth.

Mosquito: I'll go back down to earth but make me something that has wings and can suck blood.

GOD: ok

So then God makes the mosquito something that has wings and can suck blood... a vampire

One day the vampire dies and goes to God.

GOD: I still have no place for you in heaven if you want you may to hell or back down to earth.

Vampire: I'll go back down to earth, but make me something that has wings and can suck blood.

GOD : ok

GOD:(thinking) what the hell can I make him now???
(idea)

God makes him a whisper ultra pad.....................

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