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Female Clerk

Female Clerk

A general store owner hires a young female clerk with a penchant for very short skirts. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and then at the loaves of bread behind the counter. "I'd like some raisin bread, please," the man says politely.

The clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the topmost shelf. The man, standing almost directly beneath her, is provided with an excellent view.

As the clerk retrieves the bread, a small group of male customers gather around the young man, looking in the same direction. Pretty soon each person is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down.

After a few trips the clerk is tired and irritated. She stops and fumes at the top of the ladder, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the throng.

"Is yours raisin, too?" the clerk yells testily.

"No," croaks the feeble old man, "but it's starting to twitch!"




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Tatoo

A guy goes to the tatoo parlor and offers the tattoo artist $1,000 to put a $100 bill on his willie. The artist agrees, but is curious and asks the man why he wants to do this.

The man replies, "I have my reasons which I would rather not tell right now."

So, the artist goes ahead and does the job. But, all the while he is anxious with curiosity over why this man wants a $100 bill on his penis.

So, he tells the man that he really needs to know the reason why and says that the man can keep the $1000 he would have paid for the tatoo if he would just tell the reason for putting a $100 bill on his willie.

So, the man consents and offers these three reasons: "First, I like to play with my money. Second, I like to watch my money grow. And third, and most importantly, the next time my wife wants to blow $100, she can stay home to do it."

My friend

Army man, Mr. Smith, a soldier in the army returned home after spending four years on the battle front, and during all the time, not having seen his wife once.

Upon returning home, Sonia, his wife, proudly informed him that he was father of a two year old boy. For a moment Smith was joyus and happy, until he stopped to think.

"For Four years i've been away and now I'm Papa of two year old boy?" He fumed, "So" he sneered "Makeing monkey business behind my back, Who was it?" His wife shrank up agasint the wall and made no answer.

He shouted " I know! it must have been one of my friend."

"But who? Could be Jhon? or was it Michael?"

"Your friends,Your friends" she snorted, "Don't you think I've got any friends?"

20, 30, 40, 50 ...........

There was a man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged 6 miles a day. One day, he took a look in the mirror and noticed that he was tan all over except for his penis.

So he decided to do something about it. He went to the beach, completely undressed himself and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out!

A few minutes later, two old ladies weere strolling along the beach, using a cane. Upon seeing the thing sticking up from the sand, she began to move it around with her cane. Remarking to her friend she said "There's no justice in the world". Her friend asked what she meant?

She replied: "When I was 20. I was curious about it,
when I was 30, I enjoyed it!
when I was 40, I asked for it.
when I was 50, I paid for it,
when I was 60, I prayed for it,
when I was 70, I forgot about it,
I'm 80 and the damn things are growing wild on the beach and I'm to old to squat! "

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