On the beach

On the beach

A man with no arms or legs is sunbathing on the beach.

He is approached by three beautiful young women who take pity on him. The first says to him, 'Have you ever been hugged?' The man shakes his head, and she leans down and gives him a big hug.

The second says to him, 'Have you ever been kissed?' He shakes his head. She kisses him.

Rather abruptly, the third girl asks, 'Have you ever been fucked?' 'No,' says the man, his eyes lighting up.

'Well, you are now. The tide's coming in.'

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3 Wishes Each

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much.

One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them that they could have 3 wishes each.

Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females.

The frog granted his wish.

Mr. Rabbit, after thinking or a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.

Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.

Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.

Mr. Bear could not believe it and Complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world.

The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.

Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rode off as fast as he could!

Me sick

Chinese man: me no come work, me sick
Boss: when I'm sick, I have sex with my wife, try it?
2 hrs later Chinese man called back:
it work, me better, u got nice house.

Bear and rabbit

A bear and rabbit are taking a shit in the woods when the bear turns to the rabbit and says

"do you have any trouble with shit sticking to your fur"

the rabbit turns and says "no!"

So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

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