Santa Singh in Hospital
Santa Singh had been a sick man and was in the hospital, near death. The family called in Banta Singh, his best friend to stand with him.
As Banta stood next to the bed, Santa's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Santa used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then suddenly died.
Banta thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket. At the funeral he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Santa had died. He said, 'You know, Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing him, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all.'
He opened the note, and read, 'Please step to your left - you're standing on my oxygen tube!'
More Sardar Jokes
The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper.
'How much does it cost to have an obituary printed'? asked miser Santa Singh.
'It's 50 Rupees a word, sir,' the clerk replied politely.
'Fine,' said Santa Singh after a moment. 'Okay then, write this down: 'Banta - dead'.'
'That's all?' asked the clerk disbelievingly.
'I'm sorry sir, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum.'
'Yes, you should've,' snapped the Santa. Now let me think a minute... okay, here goes: Banta dead. Maruti for Sale.'
Santa Singh had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, 'Mother of Six,' in spite of her objections.
One night they went to a party. Santa decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouted at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home, Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouted back, 'Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!'
Santa Singh was standing in the line to buy a ticket. The person who was first in the line said, Give me a Punjab Mail. "Took the ticket and went. The one before santa said the same and got the ticket.
Now came Santa's turn. He said," Give me a Punjab Female."
Ticket One asked, "What does it mean?"
Santa said, "Actually this ticket is for my wife."