Do it

A women accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said: 'If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die:
1. Each morning , fix him a healthy breakfast.
2. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood.
3. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal.
4. For dinner, prepare him an especially nice meal.
5. Don't burden him with chores as he probably had a hard day.
6. Don't discuss your problems with him.
7. And most importantly, have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim.'

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said to her. 'You're going to die' she replied.




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A divorced couple was fighting for there son's custody.

Women says he is mine because I had give him birth with pain and labour.

Man disagrees and said "if i put a coin in pepsi machine and pepsi comes out it will be mine or machines". And he win the custody.

On the beach

A man with no arms or legs is sunbathing on the beach.

He is approached by three beautiful young women who take pity on him. The first says to him, 'Have you ever been hugged?' The man shakes his head, and she leans down and gives him a big hug.

The second says to him, 'Have you ever been kissed?' He shakes his head. She kisses him.

Rather abruptly, the third girl asks, 'Have you ever been fucked?' 'No,' says the man, his eyes lighting up.

'Well, you are now. The tide's coming in.'

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