A census taker in a rural Indian village went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.

She said, 'Lets see now, there's the twins, Ballu and Lallu, they're eighteen. And the twins, Seeta and Geeta, they're sixteen. And the twins, Ram and Shyam, they're fourteen.'

'Hold on!' said the census taker, 'Did you get twins every time?'

The woman answered, 'Heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn't get anything!'

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Aankh me Tinka

Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to.

Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye, main doobonga to sahara dega.

Need blood

An Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood.

The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Hummer, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars.

Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati's kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner.

The Arab replied "Bapu.....now I have Gujju blood in my veins!"

Veg or Non-Veg

Air hostess to Laloo: Are u Vegiteratian or Non- Vegiteratian ?

Laloo : I am Indian.

Air hostess: I mean, maasa hari or shaka haari?

Laloo: oh nahi re, sirf Bihari!

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