24 hours to live

24 hours to live

A man went to the Doctor and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He goes home to tell his wife and after they both had a long cry over it, he asked her if she would have sex with him because he only had 24 hours to live.

'Of course Darling.' she replied. And so they have sex.

Four hours later they are lying in bed and he turns to her again, and says, 'you know I only have 20 hours to live, do you think we could do it again?'

Again she responds very sympathetically and agrees to have sex.

Another 8 hours pass, and she had fallen asleep from exhaustion, he taps her on the shoulder, and asks her again, 'You know dear, I only have 12 more hours left, how about again for old times sake?'

By this time she is getting a little annoyed, but reluctantly agrees.

After they finish she goes back to sleep and 4 hours later, he taps her on the shoulder again and says, 'Dear, I hate to keep bothering you but you know I only have 8 hours left before I die, can we do it one more time?'

Well, she turns to him with a grimaced look on her face and says, 'You know.. you don't have to get up in the morning. I do!!!'

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Leak in the gas tank

A guy and his girlfriend were going on a romantic long drive. Suddenly, the guy, who is driving the car pulls up on the side of the highway and starts to take his clothes off.

His girlfriend asks, 'What are you doing? What if someone sees us here?'

The guys tells her, 'If you want we can go under the car and have our fun.' She agrees, but asks, 'What if someone sees us below the car?'

The guy tells her, 'Then we can tell them that we are checking for a leak in the gas tank.'

So under the car they go, and have the time of their life.

Some time later a cop comes and shouts to the couple, 'What the hell do you think you are doing?' So the couple give him the answer saying, 'We are checking for a leak in the gas tank.'

The cop shouts back at them, 'You should have checked your brakes first. You car has rolled down the slope!'

Stick's tapping

A man, his wife, and their eight children were waiting at a bus stop. Not long after, a blind man joins the group.

The bus arrives. The blind man and the husband are forced to walk because there's just no more room on the bus.

As they walk together, the tapping of the blind man's cane starts to irritate the other man. Finally, the man says, 'You know, that's pretty irritating. Why don't you put a rubber on the end of that stick?'

The blind man retorts: 'If you'd put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd both be on that bus.'

Do it

A women accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said: 'If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die:
1. Each morning , fix him a healthy breakfast.
2. Be pleasant and make sure he is in a good mood.
3. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal.
4. For dinner, prepare him an especially nice meal.
5. Don't burden him with chores as he probably had a hard day.
6. Don't discuss your problems with him.
7. And most importantly, have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim.'

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said to her. 'You're going to die' she replied.

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