Hair Remover

Hair Remover

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?"

"Of course my child, What can I do for you?"

"Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?"

"Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I can not lie."

"You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions", and she gave him the 'hair remover'.

The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son",he replied.

Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?"

The priest replied, "I have there a marvelous little instrument designed for use by women, but which has never been used."

Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father. Next!"

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To sleep better

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, 'I'd like to have some birth control pills.'

Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, 'Excuse me but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?'

The woman responded, 'They help me sleep better.'

The doctor thought some more and continued, 'How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?'

The woman said, 'I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night.'


Santa Singh comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, 'Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?'

'Oh, that's not a problem for us men anymore!' announces a proud physician, 'They just came out with this new wonder drug, Viagra, that does the trick! You take some pills, and your problems are history!'

So the doctor gives Santa Singh a prescription and sends him on his merry way.

A couple of months later, the doctor runs into his patient on the street. 'Doctor, Doctor!' exclaims Santa Singh excitedly, 'I've got to thank you! This drug is a miracle! It's wonderful!

'Well, I'm glad to hear that' says the pleased physician, 'What does your wife think about it?'

'Wife?' asks Santa Singh, 'I haven't been home yet.'

Where's Mom and dad

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, 'where's Mom and dad?' and she replied, 'they're up in bed ' so the little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play.

Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma 'where's Mom and dad?' and she replied 'they're still up in bed ' and the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play.

Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma 'where's Mom and dad?' and his grandmother replied 'they're still up in bed' and the little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked 'what's wrong? every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! what is going on here? '

The little boy replied, 'well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue instead.'

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