Dog did

A married man had a sweet young secretary and decided to take her to dinner. He called his wife to tell her that he had to "work late" and she said, "no problem."

After dinner they went back to her apartment and had mad sex for hours. On the way home he noticed a huge hickey on his neck. He fell into a state of panic.

What was he going to tell his wife?

He walked in the door and was greeted by his excited and happy dog. Inspired, he fell to the floor and pretended to fight off the affectionate dog.

Holding his neck with one hand he walked into the living room and exclaimed,"

Honey! Look at what the dog did to my neck!"

His wife jumped up, ripped open her blouse and said, "That's nothing, look at what he did to my tits!"

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Some questions

Q: What is the similarity between Cassette & Girl?
A: You can use them on either side.

Q: What is the similarity between Girls and Aeroplane?
A: Both have Cockpits.

Q: What is similarity between Tea and Girl ?
A: Both are hot, Both have milk.

Q: What is the difference between Men's Cricket and Woman's Cricket?
A: In Men's Cricketer, there is short leg between two long legs and In Woman's cricket, there is a deep gully in two fine legs.

Q: What did Egyptian Boy say to Roman Girl ?
A: Come behind the Pyramid and I will make you a mummy.

Hair Remover

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?"

"Of course my child, What can I do for you?"

"Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?"

"Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I can not lie."

"You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions", and she gave him the 'hair remover'.

The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son",he replied.

Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?"

The priest replied, "I have there a marvelous little instrument designed for use by women, but which has never been used."

Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father. Next!"

To sleep better

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, 'I'd like to have some birth control pills.'

Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, 'Excuse me but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?'

The woman responded, 'They help me sleep better.'

The doctor thought some more and continued, 'How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?'

The woman said, 'I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night.'

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