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Typewrite

Typewrite

Mark and Sharon decide they don't want to discuss sex in front of their 4 and 6 year old children, so they decide to talk in code.

One day Mark is feeling a little bit turned on and says to Katie (his daughter), "Tell your mother I would really like to type a letter."

Katie runs off to find her mom. " Mommy, mommy", shouts Katie,
"Daddy would like to type a letter."

Sharon replies slightly sheepishly, "Katie, go and tell your daddy that he can't type a letter today as there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."

Katie tears off to her father and says, "Daddy, daddy, mommy says you can't type a letter today as there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."

A few days later Sharon remembers that Mark was a little bit keen on a bit of nookie and she called Katie, "Katie, tell your daddy that he can type that letter today."

Katie went off to look for her father and told him, "Daddy, mommy says you can type the letter today."

"Thats OK, Katie", Mark says, "You can tell your mother that I don't need the typewriter any more, I wrote the letter by hand."




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My Rules

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you."

"Also", he continued, "I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want."

Those are my rules", he said. "Any comments?"

His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not!"

Turner Brown

A small white guy went into an elevator, when he got in he noticed a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black guy looked down upon the small white guy and said, "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown."

The small guy fainted!! The huge black dude picked up the little hite guy and brought him to, slapping his face and shaking him. He asked the small white guy, "What's wrong?" Our petite friend said, "Excuse me, but what did you say?"

The black giant looked down and repeated, "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown" The white guy sighed,

"Oh, thank God! I thought you said 'Turn around!!'"

In the bathroom

A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!"

He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before.

When he finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he noticed his wife still writhing against the door he said, "That was the best, honey.

You've never moved like that before, you didn't hurt yourself did you?"

His wife said, "No, no. I'll be OK once I can get the doorknob out of my ass."

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