A woman is just about to give birth in the hospital when she says to the doctor, "Doc, do me a favor. Tell me what color the baby is as it's being born."
The doctor is understandably a little puzzled at this. "Why? Don't you know what color the child is going to be?"
"Well", says the woman, "The problem is that I'm a porn actress and the child was conceived during the making of a film. I have no idea who the father is."
"Okay", says the doctor, "I'll do it for you, but it is most unusual."
The baby begins to be born and the doctor says, "Here comes the head! It seems to have Yellowish skin and the eyes are slanted. Was one of the actors Chinese?"
"Yes, doctor he was," says the woman.
"Wait", says the doctor, "The chest and arms are out and they seem to be very dark. Was one of the actors black?"
"Yes, doctor he was."
"Wait, now the legs are out and they're very fair. Was one of the actors Norwegian?"
"Yes, doctor he was."
So, the doctor pulls the baby free and gives it the traditional slap on the backside. The baby lets out a healthy "Waaaahh" and starts crying.
"Oh, thank God for that!" says the woman. "For a moment there, I expected it to bark!"
More Medical Jokes
Sardarji enters kitchen. Opens sugar box, sees, closes. Wife observes.
Again he comes, opens sugar box and closes. Wife asks, 'What are you doing?'
Saradarji replies, 'Doctor told me to check sugar level regularly.'.
A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet, Dr. Santa Singh, who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead.
'Are you sure?', the distraught woman asked. 'He was a great family pet. Isn't there anything else you can do?'
Dr. Santa Singh paused for a moment and said, 'There is one more thing we can do.' He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage.
'Well, that confirms it.' the vet announced. 'Your dog is dead.'
Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, 'How much do I owe you?'
'That will be Rs.1100.' the vet replied.
'I don't believe it!!!', screamed the woman. 'What did you do that cost Rs.1100?
'Well', Dr Santa Singh replied, 'it's Rs.100 for the office visit and Rs.1000 for the cat-scan.'
A veterinarian had a really rough day at his office.
When he finally got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed.
At about 1:00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the vet?" asked an elderly lady's voice.
"Yes, it is", replied the vet,out of breath
"Is this an emergency?"
"Well, sort of", said the elderly lady, "there's cats on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I can't get to sleep.
What can I do about it?"
There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently replied.
"Open the window and yell that they are wanted on the phone"
"Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that stop them?"
"Should do," said the vet, "IT JUST STOPPED ME!"