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Precaution

Precaution

"I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla.

"But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded.

"He did. That's why I have to take every precaution."




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Introductions

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:

A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman

B. 2 French men and 1 French woman

C. 2 German men and 1 German woman

D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman

E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman

F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman

G. 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

H. 2 American men and 1 American woman

I. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman


One month later, on various parts of the island, the following was observed:

A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.

C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.

D. The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the Greek woman is cooking & cleaning for them.

E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.

F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to sell them the Mexican woman.

G. The two Irish men began by dividing up their part of the island into Northern & Southern parts, and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember the Irish woman because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey; but at least the English are not getting any.

H. The two American men are contemplating suicide. The American woman is bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of the household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much better, and how her relationship with her mother is improving.



What happened to the Indians ??????


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The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman!!!

Tattoo

A girl got a bird tattooed below her naval.

After sex, she asked her boyfriend: "Did u notice my bird?"

He said: "No. I was concentrating on the nest".

A note

John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to "Bring this note to your beautiful Mommy." The note read:


The Tent Pole Is Up,
The Canvas Is Spread,
The Hell With Breakfast,
Come Back To Bed.

Heather, grinning, answered the note and then asked her son to "Bring this to your silly Daddy." The note read:

Take The Tent Pole Down,
Put The Canvas Away,
The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage,
No Circus Today.


John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his son to take it back to "The lady in the kitchen". The note read:

The Tent Pole's Still Up,
And The Canvas Still Spread,
So Drop What You're Doing,
And Come Give Me Some Head.


Laughing, Heather answered the note and then asked her son to "Take this to the poor man upstairs". The note read:

I'm Sure That Your Pole's
The Best In The Land.
But I'm Busy Right Now,
So Do It By Hand!

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