Signs to identify

Signs to identify

There was this nun who complained to the mother superior that a man entered the dormitory of the nuns every night and made out with each nun every night.

Stunned the mother superior asked for any signs to identify who it could be. when the nun said that the man had a mole on his penis, the mother superior exclaimed "oh! Father Fernandez!!!"

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A man wakes up his wife during the night with a glass of water in one hand and two aspirins in the other.

She asks, "What's this for?"
"This is for your headache," he says.
She says, "But I don't have a headache."
He smiles and says, "Gotcha!"

The tattoo

There was a lady who went to the tattoo parlor and got two tattoos, one of a turkey on her inside left thigh and another on her inside right thigh.

She got home and showed her husband and he asked "Why did you get those there?"

She replied "Because you're always bitching that you never have anything to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."

Ladies Room

Why men should keep out of ladies rooms

A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the mens room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the mensroom door, it was "OCCUPIED". The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside. The buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR".

Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.

He carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immedately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!". Still curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters. He thought that was out of this world! The button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear.

Well, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR". When he woke up in the hospital he paniced and buzzed for the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!" The nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the "ATR" button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your penis is under your pillow!"

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