Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed in front of each other for the first time. He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored.
"What happened to you feet?" his wife asked.
"I had a childhood disease called tolio."
"Don't you mean polio?"
"No, tolio, it only affects the toes."
He then removed his pants and revealed an awful looking pair of knees.
"What happened to your knees?" she asked.
"Well, I also had kneesles."
"Don't you mean measles?"
"No, kneesles, it only affects the knees."
When he removed his shorts his wife gasped and said, "Don't tell me; you also had smallcox!"
More Medical Jokes
A woman is just about to give birth in the hospital when she says to the doctor, "Doc, do me a favor. Tell me what color the baby is as it's being born."
The doctor is understandably a little puzzled at this. "Why? Don't you know what color the child is going to be?"
"Well", says the woman, "The problem is that I'm a porn actress and the child was conceived during the making of a film. I have no idea who the father is."
"Okay", says the doctor, "I'll do it for you, but it is most unusual."
The baby begins to be born and the doctor says, "Here comes the head! It seems to have Yellowish skin and the eyes are slanted. Was one of the actors Chinese?"
"Yes, doctor he was," says the woman.
"Wait", says the doctor, "The chest and arms are out and they seem to be very dark. Was one of the actors black?"
"Yes, doctor he was."
"Wait, now the legs are out and they're very fair. Was one of the actors Norwegian?"
"Yes, doctor he was."
So, the doctor pulls the baby free and gives it the traditional slap on the backside. The baby lets out a healthy "Waaaahh" and starts crying.
"Oh, thank God for that!" says the woman. "For a moment there, I expected it to bark!"
Sardarji enters kitchen. Opens sugar box, sees, closes. Wife observes.
Again he comes, opens sugar box and closes. Wife asks, 'What are you doing?'
Saradarji replies, 'Doctor told me to check sugar level regularly.'.
A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet, Dr. Santa Singh, who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead.
'Are you sure?', the distraught woman asked. 'He was a great family pet. Isn't there anything else you can do?'
Dr. Santa Singh paused for a moment and said, 'There is one more thing we can do.' He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage.
'Well, that confirms it.' the vet announced. 'Your dog is dead.'
Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, 'How much do I owe you?'
'That will be Rs.1100.' the vet replied.
'I don't believe it!!!', screamed the woman. 'What did you do that cost Rs.1100?
'Well', Dr Santa Singh replied, 'it's Rs.100 for the office visit and Rs.1000 for the cat-scan.'