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Steve and Cliff are having this talk.

Steve says, "My wife lets me subscribe to National Geographic and Playboy for the same reason."

Cliff says, "Why?"

Steve says, "Because with both magazines, I get to see places I'll never get to visit."

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A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner.

He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you. I'm gay."

His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay, doesn't that mean that you put other men's penises in your mouth?"

He says nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, I do."

His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, and whacked him over the head with a frying pan and said, "Don't you dare complain about the taste of my cooking ever again!"

Police Dog

Police officers George and Mary, had been assigned to walk the beast.

They had only been out a short while when Mary said, "Damn, I was running late this morning after my workout and after I showered, I forgot to put on my panties! We have to go back to the station to get them."

George replied, "We don't have to go back, just give the K-9 unit, Fido, one sniff, and he will go fetch them for you."

It was a hot day and Mary didn't fell like heading back to the station, so she lifted her skirt for the dog.

Fido's nose shoots between her legs, sniffing and snorting. After 10 seconds of sniffing, Fido's ears pick up, he sniffs the wind, and he is off in a flash towards the station house.

Five minutes go by and no sign of Fido. Ten minutes pass, and the dog is nowhere to be seen. Fifteen minutes pass, and they are starting to worry.

Twenty minutes pass, and they hear sirens in the distance. The sirens get louder and louder. Suddenly, followed by a dozen police cars, Fido rounds the corner with the Desk Sergeant's balls in his mouth.

My Shoe

A gentleman who always kept his black shoes shiny said to a woman on a date, "I bet I can guess what color your underwear is."

The woman replied, "You think so, huh? What color am I wearing?"

The man answered, "You're wearing red."

"Wow!" The lady responded in delight. "How did you know that?" she asked.

He replied, "Because I'm a genius."

On a second date with another woman, he said, "Hey, I bet I can guess what color your underwear is!"

The lady responded, "You're crazy! Okay, what color is my underwear?"

The man replied with a smirk, "They are blue, of course."

The shocked lady asked, "There's no possible way you could know that!"

"I'm a genius, I'm telling you," he said.

On a third date with another woman, the man asked with fear, "Please tell me you're not wearing any underwear!"

She replied, "Well, I'm not. You worried?"

"Whooo! I'm relieved!" he mentioned with a big gasp of air. "I thought I had a crack in my shoes!"

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