For five bucks

For five bucks

A man is walking around New York with his wife. They see a perfume shop which the wife walks into, while the hubby stands waiting outside. A hooker comes along and tells the husband, "Like to come home with me, buddy?" "For how much?", asks the man. "A hundred dollars", says the hooker. "I'll give you five bucks", quips the husband. The girl spits at him and walks away.

A little later, the man's wife comes out of the shop and they continue their walk. When they turn the corner, they come upon the same hooker. She looks at the man and his wife and yells, "See, this is what you get for five bucks!"

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Twice a day

This guy goes into a doctors and says "Doctor, doctor you've gotta help me. I just can't stop having sex!"

"Well how often do you have it?" the doctor asks.

"Well, twice a day I have sex with my wife, TWICE a day", he answers back.

"That's not so much", says the doctor.

"Yes, but thats not all. Twice a day I have sex with my secretary, TWICE a day," replies the man.

"Well that is probably a bit excessive," says the doctor.

"Yes, but thats not all. Twice a day I have sex with a prostitute, TWICE a day," says the man.

"Well, that's definitely to much", says the doctor. "You've got to learn to take yourself in hand."

"I do", says the man. "Twice a day."

Subscription Channels

Subscription Channels

Steve and Cliff are having this talk.

Steve says, "My wife lets me subscribe to National Geographic and Playboy for the same reason."

Cliff says, "Why?"

Steve says, "Because with both magazines, I get to see places I'll never get to visit."


A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner.

He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you. I'm gay."

His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay, doesn't that mean that you put other men's penises in your mouth?"

He says nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, I do."

His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, and whacked him over the head with a frying pan and said, "Don't you dare complain about the taste of my cooking ever again!"

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