The Perfect Employee?

The Perfect Employee?

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.


That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you
earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.

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One day superman was flying over wonder woman's window, he saw her naked with her sexy legs spread wide across! he could'nt control himself and dived through her window right between her legs!

she gasped!

he said," SURPRISED!"

she replied, "not as much as INVISIBLE MAN!!"

For five bucks

A man is walking around New York with his wife. They see a perfume shop which the wife walks into, while the hubby stands waiting outside. A hooker comes along and tells the husband, "Like to come home with me, buddy?" "For how much?", asks the man. "A hundred dollars", says the hooker. "I'll give you five bucks", quips the husband. The girl spits at him and walks away.

A little later, the man's wife comes out of the shop and they continue their walk. When they turn the corner, they come upon the same hooker. She looks at the man and his wife and yells, "See, this is what you get for five bucks!"

Twice a day

This guy goes into a doctors and says "Doctor, doctor you've gotta help me. I just can't stop having sex!"

"Well how often do you have it?" the doctor asks.

"Well, twice a day I have sex with my wife, TWICE a day", he answers back.

"That's not so much", says the doctor.

"Yes, but thats not all. Twice a day I have sex with my secretary, TWICE a day," replies the man.

"Well that is probably a bit excessive," says the doctor.

"Yes, but thats not all. Twice a day I have sex with a prostitute, TWICE a day," says the man.

"Well, that's definitely to much", says the doctor. "You've got to learn to take yourself in hand."

"I do", says the man. "Twice a day."

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