On their first night together, a newlywed couple gets ready for bed. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing a beautiful robe.
The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."
The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished with her beauty.
"Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture."
Puzzled she asks, "MY picture?"
He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever."
She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why are you wearing a robe, we are married now." The man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks, "Why?"
She answers, "SO I CAN GET IT ENLARGED"!
More Marriage Jokes
A man and woman are having marriage problems, and decide to end their union after a short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to court to finalize their break-up.
The judge asks the husband, "What has brought you to the point that you are now at, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?"
The husband says, "In the six weeks we've been together, we haven't been able to agree on one thing.
The wife says, "Seven weeks, your honor!"
BEFORE: You take my breath away.
AFTER: I feel like I'm suffocating.
BEFORE: She says she loves the way I take control of the situation.
AFTER: She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac.
BEFORE: Saturday Night Fever.
AFTER: Monday Night Football.
BEFORE: He makes me feel like a million dollars.
AFTER: If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...
BEFORE: The Sound of Music.
AFTER: The Sound of Silence.
BEFORE: It's like I'm in a dream.
AFTER: It's like he's in a dorm.
BEFORE: We agree on everything!
AFTER: Doesn't she have a mind of her own?
BEFORE: Charming and Noble.
BEFORE: I love a woman with curves.
AFTER: I never said you were fat.
BEFORE: He's completely lost without me.
AFTER: Why won't he ever ask for directions?
BEFORE: Time stood still.
AFTER: This relationship is going nowhere.
BEFORE: You look so seductive in black.
AFTER: Your clothes are so depressing.
BEFORE: I can hardly believe we found each other.
AFTER: I can't believe I ended up with someone like you.
Upon returning to their car from a shopping tour, one of the young ladies realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth control pills.
She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her prescription to the pharmacist. "Please fill this immediately," she asked. "I've got people waiting in my car!"