»
»
»
Occupation

Occupation

Three men were walking aimlessly in the desert. They came upon a castle, dying of thirst they decided to go into the castle. Inside they found no men, just dozens of beautiful women.

The three men decided to stay (obviously, what man wouldn't). For a week they enjoyed themselves having sex many times a day with the many beautiful women. After a week, the king of the castle and his army of men came back. As he walked into his castle he found the three men with his women.

Pissed off the king ordered his army to capture the three men and line them up against the wall. Then the king said that each of them would be serverly punished according to their occupation.

The king goes up the the first man and demands to know his occupation. The first man replies..."Fireman." The king tells his army, "Burn off his penis." Then he walked over to the second man and asked his occupation.

Hesitating the man said...."I...I...I...I'm a police officer." The king ordered, "Shoot off his penis."

Then finally the King asks the third man his occupation. With a huge smile on his face the man replied, "Lollipop salesman."




More Sexy Jokes

1234

After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform.

He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him "This is all in your mind" and refers him to a psychiatrist.

After a few visits to the shrink, he confesses, "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured." Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witchdoctor.

The witchdoctor says, "I can cure this." He throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. The witchdoctor says "This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The guy then asks the witchdoctor "What happens when it's over?" The witchdoctor says "All you or your partner has to say is '1234' and it will go down. But be warned, it will not work again for a year!"

The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news. So, he is lying in bed with her and says "123," and suddenly he gets an erection.

His wife turns over and says "What did you say '123' for?"

A Poem

Life is a gamble
Sex is a game
Boys do the fucking
Gals get the blame

1 nite of pleasure
9 monthes of pain
Rush to the hospital
Baby needs a name

Father is a bastard
Mother is a whore
None of this would happened
If the rubber hadn't tore

The Perfect Employee?

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:

That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you
earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.

Show More Sexy Jokes
loading...