The Little Old Lady and the Bet

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of, money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$5,165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.

The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?"

The old lady replied, "I make bets."

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"

The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $525,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet! The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $525,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 am as a witness?"

"Sure!" replied the confident president.

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet.

"$525,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president, "$525,000 is a lot of money,so I guess you should be absolutely sure."

Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"

She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $5,100,000 that at 10:00 am today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand.

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The brothers having all the fun!

In a farm in Montana, a man comes down the stairs one morning and greets his wife who's making breakfast by grabbing and squeezing her buttocks roughly.

"Y'know dear", he says, "if that thing could lay eggs, we'd could get rid of our chickens".

She looks at him with a tired smile, clearly showing her distaste at his manners but says nothing. The man proceeds to roughly grab and squeeze one of her breasts.

"Y'know dear," he adds, "If these things could give milk, we could get rid of the cows."

Quite exasperated, the woman puts down her spatula and very roughly grabs for her husbands testicules and penis. "Y'know DEAR," she mutters through clenched teeth, "if that THING could stay hard, we could get rid of your BROTHER!".


A man went to the tattoo parlour and had the words "yes" and "no" tattooed on his penis. When he got home that night, he approached his wife in their bedroom. He stripped off his pants and shorts, revealing his aroused organ and its new tattoo.

"What do you think, honey?" he asked his wife.

Deliberately she said, "You tell me how to cook, you tell me how to clean the house, you tell me how to do the laundry... and now you're going to put words in my mouth?"


Once there was a midget who was tired of not having a sex life, so he decided to change it. He took some of money from savings and went to find a prostitute. As he headed down Main Street, he approached several, all of them turned him down, claiming that they didn't do.

Finally he found a fat, lesbian prostitute dressed as a biker. He offered her the money. She almost said no but decided she needed the money. The went to a hotel. As they got on the bed the midget asks if he can take her from behind, she said sure, why not. Soon the prostitute is finding herself amazed at the midgets sexual abilities.

After orgasming several times, she yells "OH MY GOD! DOES IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS!"

The midget says, "Oh baby, just wait til I put the other foot in."

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