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On the balcony

On the balcony

Once ramu's mom and dad were in the mood to have sex. So they asked ramu to go to the balcony and keep a watch over other houses to see what was going on in there.

Ramu goes to the balcony and starts peeping into others houses, after half an hour ramu's dad calls him back and asks him to tell what did he saw.

Father: "What was going in Shyam's house"?
Ramu: "Nothing, the lights are out, must have gone somewhere".

Father:"What about Mohan"?
Ramu:"I heard lots of music and noises coming. I guess they are having a party or something".

Father:"and what about Rahul"?
Ramu:"His Mother is getting *%ucked*%".

Father:"How do you know"?
Ramu:"Because he too is standing in his balcony staring at other's houses"




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For $20

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.)

Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00 on one condition."

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said....
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"Clean my house."

A month overdue

Mr. Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck:

"I have great news, I 'm a month overdue. I think we are going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from BSES (Bombay Suburban Electricity Supply) because the electricity bill has not been paid.

Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma ?

Yes...... speaking

BSES guy, "You! re a month overdue, you know!"

How do YOU know? stammers the young woman.

Well, maam, its in our files! says the BSES guy.

What are you saying? Its in your files ..... HOW?

Yes, We have a system of finding out whos overdue

GOD !!!!!!......... this is too much.

Madam, I am sorry...... I am following order, I have to inform you are overdue I know that let me talk to my husband about this tonight, he will speak to your company tomorrow.

That night, she tells her! husband about the visit, and he mad as a bull, rushes to BSES
office the next day morning.

Whats going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours? the husband shouts.

Just calm down, says the lady at the reception at BSES, its nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.

PAY you? and if I refuse?

Well, in that case, sir, we have no option but to cut yours off.

And what would my wife do then? the husband asks.

I dont know. I guess ! she would have to use a candle!!!

Application for Marriage

Most Yeligible Bachellar from the South !!!!

Madam:

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Bangaloru, India. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Karnataka. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am a jolly gay.

Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am.

I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.

I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym.

If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon,
Yours and only yours
C.S.V.L.T. Rao

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