Huge penis

Huge penis

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated.

As he examined the body of Mr. Schwan, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Schwan had the longest penis he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwan," said the mortician, "But I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."

And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's thing.......

The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase.

"Oh my god!" she screamed, "Schwan is dead!"

More Sexy Jokes

Deaf mute

A deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with pharmacist and cannot see condoms on the shelf.

Frustrated, the deaf mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter and puts down a five dollar bill next to it.

The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deaf mute and then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language.

"Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."

Naughty Stories

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest.

The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began."They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France."

The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door.

"Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon.

2 Wishes

Once a guy wanted to have fun with all the beautiful girls of the world like Miss Universe, Miss World, Miss USA, and many others.

So one fine day he prayed to God with immense concentration by standing on a horse. Hearing his wishes God came in front of him and and asked him what he wanted and he told that the sex-organ must be bigger than the horse he was standing on and also he wanted to have sex with all the beautiful womens in the world were his wishes, after hearing to his wishes God granted him his wishes. And finally the man was much relieved and went to the sleep in his bed.

On the next when he woke up he saw all the beautiful women by his bed's side. But as he moved up with these womens then he felt something different. To his surprise he had a sex organ of that of a women, because while praying to the God he stood on a "female horse".

Show More Sexy Jokes