There were these three guys at the lake, a German, an Englishman and a Nigerian.

The German took out his dick, put it in the water, waited a while and told the others: "I can feel the water it's a 32 degrees Celsius".

The other two were amazed. "Let me try", the Englishman said. So he put his organ in the water, waited and said: "To be more exact, the temperature is 32.3 degrees Celsius".

At last the Nigerian man said, "Let me have a try". So he took his equipment, lowered it into the lake and said: "I've no idea about the temperature, but the water is 2 feet 9 inches deep"

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There were three young priests about to take their final vows. The last test that they had to pass was the celibacy test. For this, all three had to strip naked and tie a little bell around their member.

A belly dancer entered the room and started slinking around the first priest. "Ting-a-ling" The chief priest said, "oh Patrick, I'm disappointed, you have failed, go and take a cold shower.

The belly dancer had stripped as far as her last veil for the second guy, when the chief priest heard, "Ting-a-ling" Robert, I'm very disappointed. You can't resist the temptation of a woman. Go for a cold shower, said the chief priest.

The belly dancer started dancing totally naked now around the last priest. She did everything erotic she could think of, but no bell rang !! John, I'm delighted. You've passed ! You can resist the temptation of a woman. Now, go and relax and take a shower with Patrick and Robert. "Ting-a-ling," "Ting-a-ling," "Ting-a-ling".

Act of God

The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family.

The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed again and the congregation approved again.

Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the increasing expense. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the minister.

Finally, the minister stood and shouted out, "Having children is an Act of God!!" An older man in the back stood and shouted back, "Rain and snow are Acts of God, too, and we wear rubbers for them!"


There is this just married Chinese couple decided to make love on the wedding night in the hotel where they held their wedding. The wife did not want to get pregnant and requested the husband to buy condom from the shop nearby.

When the husband went out, the wife waited anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off. The husband had a hard time looking for a shop that sell condom and when he finally found one, he realised that he had only one 20 cents coin. He asks the shop owner to sell him one piece of condom and the shop owner asks him which quality does he want.

The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black condom, average quality, is 20 cents each. And the purple condom, highest quality, is 25 cents each." So the husband took the black condom as he had only 20 cents with him. While the husband was out, a black indian thief came into the room. The wife did not notice and thought that it was her husband.

She grabs the thief and happily screwing away. The wife was so exhausted that she falls asleep immediately. When he reaches the hotel, he found his wife sleeping. Without a warning, he jumps onto his wife and started making love. The wife was surprised that the husband was so energetic as she enjoyed the session. A year later, the wife gave birth to a black baby boy.

When the baby grows up, he asks the father "Pa, why am I black and you are white????" The father shouted " You are damn lucky already, 5 cents more and you would have been PURPLE."

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