SSC + HSC + BMS + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT
An Idea + An Idiot = A Dotcom
One Chinese Gymnast = India's Gold Medal tally since 1896
4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand = 4 minute song in Bollywood
Rona Dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mom's favourite serials
Star Movies - Rerun + Good Movies = HBO
Amitabh Bachchan - Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati = A SUPERSTAR
Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan = Abhishek Bachchan - Talent
Atal Bihari + Bad knee = Is this our LAST HOPE?
More Hindi Jokes
? If some one wants to write a love letter to his girlfriend
- likho scipt apna apna (Rotomac)
? Boy going on bike with neighbor's girl.
- Neighbors envy owners pride (Onida)
? If you love someone?
- Go get it (visa power)
? Want to propose to a girl?
- Just do it. (Nike)
? For those lost in love
- Har shaam ka sathi main aur mera Bagpiper
? Before going to propose to a girl
- Believe in the best (BPL)
? If your girl asks you which dress to wear
- Kuch nahi (Pears)
? If you are hesitating before proposing to a girl
- Vicks ki goli lo kich kich door karo (Vicks)
? Not satisfied with your dates
- Yeh dil mangey more (Pepsi)
? Scared while proposing to a girl
- Piyo glass full dudh (Operation flood)
? If you are going to propose to a girl, chances are
- 50-50 (Britannia)
? Those who succeed in love always say
- We dream because we do (Daewoo)
? A guy having a number of girl friends
- Complete Man (Raymonds)
? A smart girl having a number of boyfriends
- yeh hai hamara suraksa chakra (Colgate)
? If a girl slapped you when you proposed to her
- Take it easy (Limca)
? If you get married to a girl of your mother?s choice
- Jiyo merey Lal (Brook Bond)
Indira Gandhi wanted Zail Singh and Buta Singh to learn English. She sent them to the UK warning them that if they did not learn in 6 months she will have them shot.
In UK both forget about learning till the time to go back comes. Now when they return to India, the PM calls them for an interview. Zail Singh forces Buta to go in first. Indira Gandhi writes a big M on the blackboard. After scratching his beard Buta says " M! M for mother." He gets the nod from the PM and comes out beaming with pride. As usual Zail Singh pleads to tell what happened inside and Buta explains.
Now comes Zail Singhs turn. He goes in. There is a big W on the board. Zail Singh fidgets for some time and there cries out, "Lagdi to Bute di maa hai, par ulti tangi pai hai!"
Facts about Enggineering
1. Some Basic definitions...
Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.
Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback...
Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...
Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.
Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.
Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.
Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)
Lectures : Waste of time. Physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP
Tuitions : What you take when you don't waste enough time...
Professor : Perso! n paid to put students to sleep.
Vernacular Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal." "You Out get from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?")
Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which you watch the girls do your experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.
Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in your group simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the readings.(from the girls of course...).
2. The Truth about exams....
Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.
Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...
Re-verification : A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the KT exam).
3. An engineer's 10 engineering commandments of Life
1. Thou shalt study only during the preparatory leave.
2. Thou shalt never write thy assignments thyself.
3. Thou shalt begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission.
4. Thou shalt treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.
6. Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.
7. Thou shalt always be an OUTstanding student.
8. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST
9. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.
10. Thou shalt start every sentence with a four-lettered word.
4. The Years of Engineering
F.E. Fond of Engineering
S.E. Sick Of Engineering
T.E. Tired of Engineering
B.E. Balls to Engineering
Hum Honge All Clear,Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear Ek Din, OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas, hum ho! ge all clear ek din
Top two Engineering Rumors:
'Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm'
'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up at
The most dreaded acronym for Engineers:
ATKT (After Trying Keep Trying)
The most important criteria while selecting an engi! neering college:
Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than0 .025% then that college is engineers dream come true)
Engineers at work:
Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transfer operations throughout the class
The most important machine for Engineers:
Xerox Machine (Without which assignment completion wouldn't be possible)
The most important table in an Engineer's House:
The glass table ( to carry out GT operations, during Night Duty.)
The only queue an Engineer is familiar with:
An Engineer's favourite watch:
Bird Watch !
Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:
'Wha! t is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'
'I am failing....I got screwed royally'
5. Feeling after Completing Engineering:
Survived Engineering !!!!!!!!!!!
JHUMO,GAVO, HASO, MUSKARAO.
KYA PATA KAL HO NA HO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!