North Indian Vs South Indian GIRL

North Indian Vs South Indian GIRL

****** WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A North Indian GIRL as WIFE ******

1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age.

2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her.

3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to movies, theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry.

4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholestrol or chronic gas disorder.

5. The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill.

6. You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that she applies to cover her grey hair.

7. When you come home from office she is very busy watching "Kyonki saas bhi kabi bahu thi" that you either end up eating outside or cooking yourself.

8. You are a very "ESpecial" person to her.

9. She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of south india until she met you.

10. When she says she is going to "work out" she means she is going to " walk out"

11. She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you have in your home town.

12. The only two sentences in English that she knows are "Thank you" and "How are you"

*** WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South Indian GIRL as WIFE ***

1.Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or Madras / Anna University .

2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with " ... I say..."

3. She shudders if you use four letter words.

4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconut oil from her hair.)

5. She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.

6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.

7. Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname combined (unless you are from Andhra)

8. When she mixes milk/curd and rice you are never sure whether it is for the dog or for herself.

9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet.

10. Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari Srikkanth.

11. Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation')

12. She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on.

13. You have to give her jewellery, though she has already got plenty of it ..

14. Her Mangal Sutra weighs more than the championship belts worn by WWF wrestlers.

15. Her father thinks she is much smarter than you.

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Movie :- Sholay

Basanti:- Dhanoo bhag meri ijjat khatre mai hai

Basanti :- Bhag Jaldi Dahnno

Dhanoo : - Meri Bhi ijjat khatre mai hai

Basanti :- kaise

Dhanoo :- daku ghode pai aa rahe hai

Laloo's Call

Laloo Yadav went to London. One evening, he felt like talking to his wife and dialed his residence.

Laloo Yadav: O-Hallooo!

Reply: Hello!

Laloo Yadav smirks as it is an unfamiliar male voice.

He says: Kaun bol raha hai?

Reply: Shaab, main Bahadur.

Laloo Yadav: Bahadur, where did you come from?

Bahadur: Shaab, memsahaab has kept me here.

Laloo Yadav shifts uneasily on learning that Rabris daring at keeping a pahari Bahadur just the day he has left home.

He says: Ok, go and call memsaab.

Bahadur - Shaab, Memshaab is sleeping with Shaab!

Laloo Yadav turns red and wild with anger. He screams into the phone: Listen Bahadur, listen to me. I am your real Sahib.

Bahadur: But then who is sleeping with Memshaab?

Laloo Yadav: Woh koi ullu ka pattha hai. Go to the drawing room and get my gun which is hanging there.

After a few seconds Bahadur comes back: Shaab, Ive got the gun!

Laloo Yadav: And just around there in the drawers should be the bullets, take them and fit them into the gun.

After a minute Bahadur replies: Shaab, its ready now.

Laloo Yadav: Now go and kill both the the Memsahib and the fake Sahib!

Two gunshots are heard and Bahadur comes back to the phone: Shaab, Ive shot both of them, what do I do with the dead bodies?

Laloo Yadav: Just dig a hole in the garden and bury both of them in it.

Bahadur: Shaab, I don't get it! This is the fifteenth floor, theres no garden here!

Laloo Yadav: Oh, sorry, wrong number!

Last wish

Once upon a time there were three prisoners: a Hindu, a Christian and a Sardarji. The trio were to executed using a guillotine.

The final day arrived and they were lined up to be fed to the mighty blades of the the law.

So first came the hindu.

As a matter of convention, the jailor asked him if he had a last wish.

He never bothered for a wish just before dying and so he put up a whole hearted prayer to Bhagwan and placed his head in the guillotine.

His prayers proved to be wonderful, the blade did not fall down. HE WAS PARDONED.

Next came the Christian.

So once again out of his compulsion the jailor asked if they could do something as a last wish of his.

The Christian also never obliged and offered his sincere last pryers to Jesus Christ before placing his head no the chopper.

"All glories to the almighty" the guillotine again stopped at the edge of the convict's neck. HE WAS PARDONED.

Now came the sardarji's turn who was already quite pissed off at the two bizzare pardons just before him.

So yet once again as a matter of sheer practice the jailor again enquired from the sardarji regarding any last wishes that he had.

Since sardarji was already vey seriously upset about the whole debacle, all that he could say was:

"I give a rat's ass to a wish, why the hell don't you get your frigging machine set right first???"

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