Bad vs Worst

Bad vs Worst

Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.
Worse: You're in it.

Bad: Your children are sexually active.
Worse: With each other.

Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.

Good: You go to see a strip show.
Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.

Good: Your boyfriend's exercising.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.

Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.
Bad: She's eleven.

Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.

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There were these three guys at the lake, a German, an Englishman and a Nigerian.

The German took out his dick, put it in the water, waited a while and told the others: "I can feel the water it's a 32 degrees Celsius".

The other two were amazed. "Let me try", the Englishman said. So he put his organ in the water, waited and said: "To be more exact, the temperature is 32.3 degrees Celsius".

At last the Nigerian man said, "Let me have a try". So he took his equipment, lowered it into the lake and said: "I've no idea about the temperature, but the water is 2 feet 9 inches deep"


There were three young priests about to take their final vows. The last test that they had to pass was the celibacy test. For this, all three had to strip naked and tie a little bell around their member.

A belly dancer entered the room and started slinking around the first priest. "Ting-a-ling" The chief priest said, "oh Patrick, I'm disappointed, you have failed, go and take a cold shower.

The belly dancer had stripped as far as her last veil for the second guy, when the chief priest heard, "Ting-a-ling" Robert, I'm very disappointed. You can't resist the temptation of a woman. Go for a cold shower, said the chief priest.

The belly dancer started dancing totally naked now around the last priest. She did everything erotic she could think of, but no bell rang !! John, I'm delighted. You've passed ! You can resist the temptation of a woman. Now, go and relax and take a shower with Patrick and Robert. "Ting-a-ling," "Ting-a-ling," "Ting-a-ling".

Act of God

The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family.

The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed again and the congregation approved again.

Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the increasing expense. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the minister.

Finally, the minister stood and shouted out, "Having children is an Act of God!!" An older man in the back stood and shouted back, "Rain and snow are Acts of God, too, and we wear rubbers for them!"

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