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Who's The Guy

Who's The Guy

Who's The Guy In The Picture

While enjoying a drink with a friend one night, this guy decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place.

The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her house, they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it. She gives this fellow the best night of his life with great blowjobs, anal sex, titty sex, armpit sex... THE WORKS!

Finally, the fellow is completely worn out, and he reaches for a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies.

Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.

Naturally, the guy begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?"

"No, I don't have a boyfriend," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?!" demands the bewildered guy.

She tells him, "That was me before the operation!"




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Bad vs Worst

Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.
Worse: You're in it.

Bad: Your children are sexually active.
Worse: With each other.

Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.

Good: You go to see a strip show.
Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.

Good: Your boyfriend's exercising.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.

Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.
Bad: She's eleven.

Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.

Measurement

There were these three guys at the lake, a German, an Englishman and a Nigerian.

The German took out his dick, put it in the water, waited a while and told the others: "I can feel the water it's a 32 degrees Celsius".

The other two were amazed. "Let me try", the Englishman said. So he put his organ in the water, waited and said: "To be more exact, the temperature is 32.3 degrees Celsius".

At last the Nigerian man said, "Let me have a try". So he took his equipment, lowered it into the lake and said: "I've no idea about the temperature, but the water is 2 feet 9 inches deep"

Ting-a-ling

There were three young priests about to take their final vows. The last test that they had to pass was the celibacy test. For this, all three had to strip naked and tie a little bell around their member.

A belly dancer entered the room and started slinking around the first priest. "Ting-a-ling" The chief priest said, "oh Patrick, I'm disappointed, you have failed, go and take a cold shower.

The belly dancer had stripped as far as her last veil for the second guy, when the chief priest heard, "Ting-a-ling" Robert, I'm very disappointed. You can't resist the temptation of a woman. Go for a cold shower, said the chief priest.

The belly dancer started dancing totally naked now around the last priest. She did everything erotic she could think of, but no bell rang !! John, I'm delighted. You've passed ! You can resist the temptation of a woman. Now, go and relax and take a shower with Patrick and Robert. "Ting-a-ling," "Ting-a-ling," "Ting-a-ling".

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