Dumb Person

Dumb Person

A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why.

She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."

The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger 'units' than his dad.

His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."

Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.

Shortly after, the boy returned again.

He promptly told his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."

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Cowboy Boots

Roy always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them and wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife, Bessie, "Notice anything different about me?" Bessie looks him over and says, "Nope."

Frustrated, Roy storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room with nothing on, except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different now?!?"

Bessie looks up and says, "Roy, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Roy yells, "And do you know why it is hanging down, Bessie? It's hanging down because it's looking at my new boots!"

To which Bessie replies, "You should bought a hat, Roy."

Calling Husband

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives.

Lucy said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does."

Betty giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft."

Lorraine quietly sipped her until Betty finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?"

Lorraine frowned and said, "The postman."

"Why the postman?" asked Lucy.

"Because, he always delivers late and half the time it's in the wrong box."

True Statements

* Behind every successful man, there is a great woman and behind every great woman, there is a smart guy staring at her butt.

* If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

* Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one.

* A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress.

* Squirrel who runs up woman's leg do not find nuts.

* If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK.

* Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage. Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.

* Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

* If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.

* Prostitution is a hole sale business.

* A tight dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.

* It is good for woman to meet man in park, but better for man to park meat in woman.

* Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

* Guns don't kill people... Husbands who come home early kill people.

* Getting married is like getting into a bath tub. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.

* Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy!

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