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Freezing cold

Freezing cold

An Amish woman and her very innocent daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold, blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold."

The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up."

The daughter did and her hands warmed up.

The next day, the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, "My hands are freezing cold."

The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up."

He did and it warmed his hands.

The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold."

The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up."

He did and it warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and said, "My penis is frozen solid."

The following day, the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"

Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"

The daughter replies, "They make one heck of a mess when they defrost, don't they?"




More Sexy Jokes

10 questions

Read through and then see answers below:-

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?

2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard. What am I?

5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me you feel good. What am I?

7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?

8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?

9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?

10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I?


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Answers:-

1. a dentist

2. a wedding ring

3. peanut butter

4. chewing gum

5. an elevator

6. a nose

7. a newspaper boy

8. a glove

9. a crane

10. a toothbrush, of course

Killing A Mouse

The little boy walks into his father's bedroom and catches him putting on a condom.

He says, "What are you doing, Pop?

The father stutters "I'm going to kill a mouse, son."

The kid says, "What are you going to do, fuck him to death?"

Horny Husband

A woman went to a lawyer to discuss divorcing her husband. "Don't you love him anymore?" asked the lawyer.

"Oh, I still love him," the chick replied. "But all he ever wants is sex, I can't take it."

"Instead of divorcing him why don't you try charging him every time he wants to make love?" the lawyer suggested. The exhausted wife decided to give the plan a try. As soon as she walked into the house that night her husband put the hard word on her.

"Not so fast," she replied. "From now on it'll be $10 in the kitchen, $20 in the living room and $50 in the bedroom."

"Well, then," he said. "Here's $50."

The wife began walking to the bedroom, "Hold on," he said, grabbing her hand. "That'll be five times in the kitchen!"

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