Breast Implants

Breast Implants

Breast Implants

A British company is developing some computer chips that stores music in women's breast implants.

This is a major breakthrough as women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

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Tough Operation

Two little kids are in a hospital lying on stretchers next to each other outside an operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out, and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up, they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

"A circumcision", the first kid answers.

Whoa! the second kid says. "Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year."

Rare disease

Old Mendel Rugelbaum was very old and suffering from a rare disease and could drink only human milk.

"How can I get human milk?" Mendel asked the doctor.

"Well, Ruby just had a baby, maybe she'll help."

So every day Mendel went to Ruby's house for his daily feed. Ruby was a dark-eyed, big breasted lady, who, in spite of herself, gradually became aroused as Mendel lapped at her ripe breasts.

One day as he quietly lay sucking, she whispered to him, " Tell me Mr. Rugelbaum, do you like it?"

"Mmmm, wonderful," he sighed.

"Is there....," she hesitated, her lips parted, eyes aglow, "is there anything else you'd like?"

"As a matter of fact there is," murmured Mendel.

"What?" Ruby asked breathlessly.

Mendel licked his lips. "Maybe a little biscuit?"


Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed in front of each other for the first time. He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored.

"What happened to you feet?" his wife asked.

"I had a childhood disease called tolio."

"Don't you mean polio?"

"No, tolio, it only affects the toes."

He then removed his pants and revealed an awful looking pair of knees.

"What happened to your knees?" she asked.

"Well, I also had kneesles."

"Don't you mean measles?"

"No, kneesles, it only affects the knees."

When he removed his shorts his wife gasped and said, "Don't tell me; you also had smallcox!"

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