$10 is $10!
One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair. There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person. Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that." Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10." So Stumpy goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money.
Finally, when Stumpy and Martha are both about 70 years old, Stumpy looks to Martha, and says, "Martha, I'm 70 now, and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again, so I just have to have a ride in that there airplane." Martha replies in the same old fashion, and Stumpy kind of slumps down. The pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation...
The pilot pipes up, "Excuse me folks, I couldn't help but hear your situation, and I have a deal for you. I'll take both of you up together, and if you can both make the entire trip without saying a word, or even making the slightest sound, I'll give the ride for free. But if either of you make a sound, its $10 each." Well, Martha and Stumpy look at each other, and agree to take the ride.
The pilot takes them up, and starts to do loop de loops, twists, dives, climbs and spins. No sound. The pilot lands the plane, looks back at Stumpy and says, "Sir, I have to hand it to ya, you didn't make even the slightest sound and that was my best stuff." Stumpy looks back at the pilot and says, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but $10 is $10!"
More Funny Jokes
A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near the lions' cage and asks them their names and what they're up to.
The first boy says, "My name's Tommy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions."
The second boy says, "My name's Billy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions."
The third boy says, "My name is Peanuts."
An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it."
She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?"
The salesman says, "Why do you ask?"
She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."
There was a tourist on a farm and he asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.
The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw."
"So why he is the bravest pig?" the tourist asked.
"Well one night our house caught on fire. And he came into our house and he woke us all up."
"So," the tourist asked again, "why does that pig have a wooden leg?"
"Well, a pig that brave you can't eat all at once!"