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Rent for apartment

Rent for apartment

A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did. Before he left in the morning, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclosed a note:

Dear Madam:

Enclosed find a cheque in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that:
(1) it had never been occupied.
(2) that there was plenty of heat.
(3) that it was small enough to make me cozy and at home.

Last night, however, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.


Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:

Dear Sir,

First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlord.




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Country Club Genie

A young couple was golfing one day on a very exclusive course lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee, the wife sliced her shot right through the large front window of the biggest house along the course. They walked up, knocked on the door and heard a voice say, "Come on in."

When they opened the door, they saw glass everywhere and a broken bottle lying on the floor. A man on the couch said, "Are you the people who broke my window?"

The husband began to apologize, but the man cut him off, "Actually, I want to thank you, I'm a genie who was trapped in that bottle, and your wayward shot released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes, so what I'd like to do is give each of you one wish, and I'll keep last one for myself."

"Fantastic!" said the husband. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem," said the genie, "it's the least I can do."

"I want a house in every country in the world," said the wife. "Consider it done," said the genie, "and now for my wish. Because I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex in a really long time. My wish is to sleep with your wife."

The husband looked over at his wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses...If you don't mind honey, I don't either." The wife agreed.

The genie took her upstairs and ravished her for 3 hours. After he was through, the genie looked at the wife and asked, "How old is you husband, anyway?"

"Twenty-five," said the wife.

"And he still believes in genies?"

Skiing Trip

Peter decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up peter's station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night.

"I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Not to worry," Peter said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."

Nine months later, Peter got a letter from the widow's attorney. He then went up to visit his friend Bob and said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"

"Yes, I do."

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have intercourse with her?"

"Yes, I have to admit that I did."

"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."

"Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!"

My House

The Policeman had stopped the man for obvious drunken driving, but since the guy had a clean record, he made him park the car and took him home in the patrol car. "Are you sure this is your house?" the cop asked as they drove into a rather fashionable neighborhood.

"Shertainly!" said the drunk, "and if you'll just open the door f'me, I can prove it to ya." Entering the living room, he said, "You shee that piano? Thash mine. You shee that giant television set? Thash mine too. Now follow me."

The police officer followed the man as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor. The drunk pushed open the first door they came to. "Thish ish my bedroom," he announced. "Shee the bed there? Thash mine! Shee that woman lying in the bed? Thash my wife. An' see that guy lying next to her?

"Yeah?" the cop replied suspiciously. Beginning at this point to seriously doubt the man's story.

"Well, thash me!"

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