Very sick Man
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to the doctor to get a checkup. Afterward the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"
"Ten", the doctor says sadly.
"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"
More Medical Jokes
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery and the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing.
The friend was amazed at the number of nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all the attention?" the friend asked. "You look fine to me."
"I know!" grinned the patient. "But the nurses kinda formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required thirty-seven stitches.
A man and a woman met at a bar. They started getting along really well and they decide to go to her place for a drink.
Some drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands. He then took off his socks and washed his hands.
The woman looked at him and said, "You must be a dentist."
Flabbergasted, the guy responded, "Why yes! That's amazing; how did you know that?"
The woman replied, "Real easy. You keep washing your hands."
One thing leads to another, and they go to bed.
After the lovemaking, the woman remarked, "You must be a GREAT dentist!"
The doctor was very surprised, and said, "Yes! Yes! I sure am a great dentist. Wow! You amaze me! And how did you know THAT sweetheart?"
The woman says: "Easy. I didn't feel a thing."
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass."
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said,
"Sorry, had to mow the lawn."