Wear Condoms!

Wear Condoms!

A population control program had been introduced in a remote village, but the doctors were having trouble getting the women to take their birth control pills. They decided, therefore, to concentrate on teaching the men to wear condoms.

Doctor told Santa, who had 4 children in four years, that he absolutely had to wear a condom. Doctor explained that as long as he wore it his wife could not have another baby.

About a month later Santa's wife, Jeeto, came in and she was pregnant. The doctor got very angry. He called Santa in and gave him a long lecture through an interpreter. He asked Santa why he hadn't worn the condom.

The interpreter said, "He swears he did wear it."

The doctor shook his head. "In that case, ask him how in the heck his wife is pregnant again?"

"He says," said the interpreter, "that after six days he had to pee so badly that he cut the end off."

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Good Choice!

Once Banta saw Santa in a brand new Convertible Porsche.

Banta asked Santa - Where did you get such a nice Car?

Santa replied - Well, I was walking yesterday on a Beach minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this Car. She came out of the Car, took off all her Clothes and said, Take whatever you want.

Banta added approvingly - Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you.

Santa in ICU

A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition.

Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, "Bengali."

The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, "Punjabi."

This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, "Calcutta."

Other replied in a weedy frail voice, "Ludhiana."

Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, "Asit."

Replied the other, "Santa."

A few hours later, Asit managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, "Cancer."

Santa responded, "Sagittarius."

In Too Deep!

There was a couple, Banta and Preeto, going at it for the first time, and they were going at it for a while when suddenly Banta asks Preeto to open her legs a little wider.

She does and they continue.

A few minutes go by and Banta asks her again, "Open your legs a little wider".

Preeto does, then he asks again, "a little wider hun".

Preeto starts getting pissed off but she does it. Till finally he asks again, "Can you open them just a little wider?"

So she finally yells, "What are you trying to do get your balls in too?"

Banta says, "No, I'm trying to get them out."

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