Father of my child

Father of my child

A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a very attractive woman standing behind him said, "Hello!" Her face was beaming.

He gave her that "who are you look," and couldn't remember ever having seen her before.

Noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake and apologized. Look," she said "I'm really sorry but when I first saw you, I thought you were the father of one of my children," and walked out of the store.

The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, "What the hell is the world coming to? Here is an attractive woman who can't keep track of who fathers her children! "

Then he got a little panicky."I don't remember her," he thought but, MAY BE...during one of the wild parties he had been to when he was in college, perhaps he did father her child!

He ran from the store, caught up with her in the parking lot and asked, "Are you the girl I met at a party in college and then we got really drunk and had wild crazy sex on the pool table in front of everyone?"

"No", she said with a horrified look on her face. "I'm your son's second grade teacher!"

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Strip Club

A man went to a strip club. When he got inside he noticed a seat conspicuously unoccupied in the front row. Seizing the opportunity, he took the seat.

As soon as the first dancer walked out, the guy directly behind him yelled, "Yeah baby! That's what I've been waiting for!"

The man in the front row turned around and gave him a dirty look. A few minutes into the show, the dancer did a move and snatched off her top, revealing two pasties.

The guy behind our friend goes off again. "Yeah baby! Shake those things."

Our friend turned around and said, "Hey buddy, calm down!"

After a few moments, the dancer did another move, and snatched off her dress, revealing a very thin G-string.

Again the man behind our friend yelled out, "Oh baby! You're almost there!"

Our friend again turned around and said, "Hey buddy, shut the hell up, will you!"

A few minutes later, the dancer stretched out on the floor and snatched off both the pasties and the G-string, and the whole club went wild, except for the man behind our friend.

Curious, our friend turned around and asked, "Say buddy, where's your enthusiasm now"?

The guy responded, "It's on your back, dude."

Do it in my style

A man is walking down the street, and he's really horny. So he goes to the first whore house he sees and approached a prostitute.

He asked her, "How much do you charge for the hour?"

"1000 bucks," she replied.

"Do you do My-style?" he asked.

Not knowing exactly what this was, she refused.

He tried to sweeten the deal and said, "I'll pay you 2000 to do it My-style."

Again she declined.

Being the persistent type, he laid down a final offer. "I'll give you 5000 to go My-style with me! What do you say?"

Finally, she agrees, thinking, "Well I've been in the game for over ten years now. I've been there and done that, and had every kind of request from weirdos from all over the world. How kinky could His-style be?"

After an hour of every possible way and position, she turned to him and said, "That was fantastic, but I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. Where does the 'Your-style' come in?"

The man popped a can of beer and replied, "I pay you next month when I get my check."


Four School friends meet at their School Reunion. One of the friends goes to bathroom and the others start to talk about their sons...

Guy 1: You know my son? I'm so proud of him 'cause he was so successful. He became so rich that he gave one of his best friends a 2-million dollar Mansion for free!

Guy 2: Really? My son's made me proud too. He's become so rich from acting and gave his closest friend 2 free Hummer H2's.

Guy 3: Even my son got rich. He won the 8 million-dollar Lotto and he bought his friend a private yacht and jet.

The fourth High school Guy comes back from the bathroom and overhears them talking about their sons. So he began to tell them about his son.

Guy 4: Yeah, well, my son hasn't been as successful like your sons have. He's gay and works at a gay stripping joint for a living.

Guy 1: What a shame.

Guy 4: No, not really. He lives in a 2-million dollar mansion, owns his own jet and yacht, and owns 2 Hummer H2's which were all given to him by 3 of his Ex-boyfriends.

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