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Indian Cricket

Indian Cricket

Q: What is the height of optimism?
A: Ganguly coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.

Q: What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
A: The entire Indian innings.

Q: How to increase the chances of Indian batsmen playing out the entire 50 overs?
A: Try giving them two innings to begin with, then try three and so on.

Q: How should Greg Chappell reshuffle the Indian batting order?
A: Move Extras up the order.

Q: What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
A: 3 runs in 3 balls.

Q: When would Ganguly have 100 runs against his name?
A: When he is bowling.

Q: Where do Indian Batsman perfrom there best?
A: In Advertisments.




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Liar

A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it's closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he's in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.

"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"

He says, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.

"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"

CRICKET???

CRICKET: As explained to a foreigner....

You have two sides, one out in the field and one on in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of game.

* An American had been to go to a cricket match while he was in England. He watched with pleasure as the team came out and the batsman scored four runs off the six balls. then the umpire called "OVER". "Well", he said, getting up, "It's a nice game-but it's too short."

Skiing

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.

In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!"

The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too.

Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

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