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Sex - Work or play???

Sex - Work or play???

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.

After consulting the Bible, the priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."

The man thinks: "What does a priest know about sex?"

So he goes to a minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out a Rabbi, a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge.

The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, " My son, sex is definitely play."

The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"

The Rabbi softly speaks, "My son, if sex were work, my wife would have the maid to do it."




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Long stem...

One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed in her cleavage. She asked, "Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How about you, Jonny?

"Milk!" answered Little Johnny.

"No, I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer. Roses drink water," explained the teacher.

"Wow!" Johnny exclaimed. "I didn't know the stem was that long!"

Doggy!

A little kid of 6 sees two dogs humping in the back garden of his house.

"Dad, what are those two dogs doing?" He enquires.

His dad fumbles with a lame explanation. "Well, the doggie on the back has broken his front legs and the other dogies giving him a lift."

The kid looks for a second and replies "Typical that. Try to help someone out and you end up getting fucked in the arse."

Paradisal Justice

There men who died the same day were presented before God. The almighty showed particular interest in their sex life. The first one replied that he never had an affair before or after he was married. God granted him a chauffeur-driven Cadillac. The second man admitted he had some affairs before he was married but none afterwards. God gave him an Ambassador car. The third man confessed to having had lots of affairs. God gave him a scooter. A few days later the man with the scooter saw the fellow with the chauffeur-driven Cadillac sitting by the roadside and crying. The scooterist asked him why was he upset.

Replied the Cadillac owner, "I've just seen my wife ride past on a bicycle."

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