The Frog and the Endowed!!!

The Frog and the Endowed!!!

A guy goes to see the doctor, because he's been a little too well endowed, shall we say. In fact, it's 25 inches long. Can't get any women to have sex with him. Anyway, the doctor says there's nothing he can do medically, but sends him to see a witch that he thinks might be able to help. Witch takes a look at the problem and tells him to go to a particular pond, deep in the forest, and talk to a frog that lives there.

"Ask the frog to marry you and each time the frog says no, you'll be 5 inches shorter."

Worth a try, he thinks, and off he dashes into the forest, as anyone in this sort of joke would. Finds the pond and sees the frog on the other side, sitting on a log.

"Will you marry me?" he calls to the frog.

Frog looks at him, disinterested at best, and calls back, "No."

Guy looks down, sure enough, he's 5 inches shorter. Hey, this is great, he thinks-let's try that again.

"Will you marry me?" he asks the frog.

Frog rolls his eyes, and shouts back again, "No!"

Twitch-the guy's down to 15 inches. Well that's still a bit excessive, he thinks. Down another 5 would be perfect.

So he calls across again, "Will you marry me?"

Frog yells back, "Look - how many times do I have to tell you? No. No. NO!"

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Fat Head

A husband, wife and a son walk into an ice-cream shop. The dad says, "I'll have a chocolate." The wife says, "I'll have a vanilla."

Then the dad slaps his son in the back of the head and says, "What do you want, fat head?"

The lady helping them says, "Why did you hit him in the back of the head and call him fat head?"

The husband says, "There are three things in life a man wants:

The first thing is a nice big truck. And you see that nice big truck sitting out there??? That's my nice truck!!!

The second thing in life a man wants is a nice big house. You seen that nice big house on top of the hill on the edge of town? That's my big house!!!

The third thing in life a man wants is a nice tight pussy, and I had that until fat head came along!!!"

Most Exciting Experiences

Three old timers were relating their most exciting experiences.

The first, a retired sheriff, described the terrifying excitement of a shoot-out with Bonnie and Clyde back in his younger days.

The other gents nodded and agreed that, indeed, would have been exciting.

The second, a retired fireman, related the tale of a huge fire at the university several years back. There were flames, fire trucks from several area fire departments, but the most exciting part were the naked coeds jumping from their dorm windows into his arms.

The others gents agreed that had to be a very exciting time.

The third guy, a retired undertaker, started, "One night I got a call to pick up a body that was under a sheet in a hotel room.

When I got there, the guy had a huge erection. I knew there was no way I could get him through the lobby like that. So I found an old broom and whacked that erection just as hard as I could to make it go down." He paused.

The retired fireman asked, "So, how was that exciting?"

The undertaker answered, "Well, you see, I was in the wrong room."

U haven't got

A young pretty female school teacher had been telling her class about the value of being observant and said, "Now children, look at the clock, what does the clock have that I have too?"

One little girl stood up and said, "It has a face."

Another girl raised her hand and said, "It has hands."

"Splendid," said the teacher, "now what has the clock that I haven't got?"

After a long silence, Little Johnny rose and said, "You ain't got no pendulum, Miss."

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