Good & Bad News
At the hospital, there was a man laying in the emergency room, the doctor opened the door and walked toward the man.
Man said, 'Will I be ok, Doctor?"
The doctor turned to him and said, "Well there is good and bad news."
"Tell me the bad news", said the man.
"Well," said the doctor, "the bad news is that we are going to cut both your legs off."
"Oh my god," said the man, "What the hell is the good news?"
"The good news is," said the doctor, "see that man over there, he wants to buy your shoes."
More Medical Jokes
A doctor got a call from a very excited woman, "My son just swallowed the aspirins, what shall I do?"
He replied, "Give him a headache, what else?"
Once a doctor got a telephone call in the middle of night. The caller sounded very excited.
"Doctor, please come at once. My wife is in great pain and I am sure it is appendicitis", he said.
The doctor assured him that there was no need to panic. "I will come in the morning."
The man protested, "But doctor, my wife is really serious."
The doctor replied, "I took out your wife's appendix two years ago. She can not have another."
The caller protested, "That is alright doctor, but now I have got another wife!"
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"