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Vasectomy!

Vasectomy!

After having their 5th child, Santa and his wife decided that that was enough. So Santa went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife did not want any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called vasectomy that could fix the problem.

The doctor instructed him to go home, get a Diwali bomb, light it, put it in an empty Coke can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

Santa said to the doctor, "I'm the smartest man in Punjab, but I don't see how putting a Diwali atom bomb in a Coke can next to my ear is going to help me with my problem." So the couple drove away to Delhi to get a second opinion. The Delhi physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for vasectomy when he noticed it was Santa. This doctor told Santa to go home and get a Diwali fire-cracker, light it, place it in a Coke can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.

Figuring that both learned physicians knew what they were talking about and couldn't be wrong, Santa went home, lit a Diwali firecracker and put it in a Coke can. He held it up to his ear and began counting with the fingers on his left hand: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5.."

At which point he paused, placed the coke can between his legs and resumed counting on the other hand and....!!!!!




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That's too much...

Santa was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the Passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently, the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found the same on the floor of the bus.

Politely, he asked the saree clad female, standing in front of him, "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take the photograph"

The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted in a hospital. He was surprised to see Banta on the bed next to him, in a still worse condition.

Banta started to explain his "Adventure". He had gone to a remote village on some work & due to his high level of intelligence, couldn't finish the work on time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn't find any Hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night.

The Owner replied, "I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay".

He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night.

The Owner replied, "I have 3 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay".

He went towards the next house and without taking any risks, asked, " Do you have "grown up" daughters?".

The Owner asked, "Yes, why?"

Banta replied, " I wanted to stay here for a night."

Scary scene!

Banta comes home unexpectedly. He finds his 6 year old son Kukkoo, peeping into his bedroom. Upon seeing his dad, Kukoo breaks down and starts crying.

Banta: "Bete Kukoo, kya hua?"

Kukoo: {points to the Bedroom} "waaaaaaaa dadddy...... padose wale Uncle"

Banta frantically knocks on the door. Mrs. Banta opens the door in a state of near undress. Smelling a rat, Banta starts searching the room. He looks under the bed, in the closet, in the bathroom....and finds his neighbour standing behind the curtains STARK NAKED.

Banta: {Slapping Neighbour} Saale sharam nahin aati ..... nange ho ke chote bacchon ko darate ho.

Hunting mission...

A man-eating tiger is rampant in a region of Garhwal (a region in India).

Two famous hunters- Santa and Banta are called to hunt the beast down. 10 days go by with no luck.

This is when Banta decides to change his hunting plan.

Says Banta, "I'll hide inside a cow's hide, and shoot the tiger thru it's mouth when it comes to eat me"

So Banta leaves for the Jungle hiding inside the cow hide, with his rifle sticking out of the cows mouth.

A day goes by, no sign of Banta, a week later Santa gets worried, and a search party is sent to find him. They do find him ... stripped off his camouflage ... lying face first on the ground.

The rifle is lying a few feet away.

Santa is worried, he runs up to Banta ... gives him a shake and asks, "What happened Banta, Did the tiger come?"

Banta's feeble response is "Tiger didn't show up, but tell me ... who left the Bull loose?".

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