Threat

"I'm scared," Banta said to one of his friends. "I got a letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop seeing his wife."

"Well," replied his friend, "I guess you'll have to stop seeing his wife."

"Easy for you to say."

"You like her that much?" the friend asks.

"It's not that," declared Banta. "He didn't sign his name!"




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English Girl

Banta's wife, Preeto, goes to England to attend a two-week, company training session. Banta drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

Preeto answers, 'Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?'

Banta laughs and says, 'An English girl !!!

Preeto kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later Banta picks her up in the airport and asks, 'So, honey, how was the trip?'

'Very good, thank you.'

'And, what happened to my present?'

'Which present?'

'What I asked for, the English girl?!'

Oh, that! Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if its a girl !!!

Vasectomy!

After having their 5th child, Santa and his wife decided that that was enough. So Santa went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife did not want any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called vasectomy that could fix the problem.

The doctor instructed him to go home, get a Diwali bomb, light it, put it in an empty Coke can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

Santa said to the doctor, "I'm the smartest man in Punjab, but I don't see how putting a Diwali atom bomb in a Coke can next to my ear is going to help me with my problem." So the couple drove away to Delhi to get a second opinion. The Delhi physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for vasectomy when he noticed it was Santa. This doctor told Santa to go home and get a Diwali fire-cracker, light it, place it in a Coke can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.

Figuring that both learned physicians knew what they were talking about and couldn't be wrong, Santa went home, lit a Diwali firecracker and put it in a Coke can. He held it up to his ear and began counting with the fingers on his left hand: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5.."

At which point he paused, placed the coke can between his legs and resumed counting on the other hand and....!!!!!

That's too much...

Santa was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the Passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently, the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found the same on the floor of the bus.

Politely, he asked the saree clad female, standing in front of him, "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take the photograph"

The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted in a hospital. He was surprised to see Banta on the bed next to him, in a still worse condition.

Banta started to explain his "Adventure". He had gone to a remote village on some work & due to his high level of intelligence, couldn't finish the work on time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn't find any Hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night.

The Owner replied, "I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay".

He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night.

The Owner replied, "I have 3 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay".

He went towards the next house and without taking any risks, asked, " Do you have "grown up" daughters?".

The Owner asked, "Yes, why?"

Banta replied, " I wanted to stay here for a night."

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