Damn it!

A first grade teacher had a small number of children gathered around a table for a reading group.

After the story was read she gave the children a work sheet to do. She thought they may have some problems so wanted them to work on it while still there.

She heard a little girl say very softly "damn!".

The teacher leaned over and said quietly, "We don't say that in school."

The little girl looked at the teacher, her eyes got very big and she said, "Not even when things are all fucked up?!"




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Cycle and Car...

Santa goes to a bar in London for a couple of drinks. As he is sitting alone and drinking, he notices a sexy woman sitting in a corner, alone and staring at him. At first he tries to ignore her, but the sight of her huge boobs is still rolling in his mind and he looks at her again. Now the woman smiles back at him and Santa gets very excited.

He gulps down a couple of neats and gathering courage goes upto her and says, "Excuse me...I am Santa from India. Can I sit here and buy you a drink?"

The woman agrees and soon both of them are drinking away like good old friends. Then after everything is through Santa and the lady walk out of the bar. But Santa is in a great mood to screw her.

Again gathering courage and slighty drunk, he asks her, "Eschcuse me, can we have sex tonight, please??"

The lady says, "Well I don't mind, but you see I'm on my menstrual cycle"

"No problem" says Santa "you proceed in your menstrual cycle, I will follow you in my Honda Accord!"

Your Husband

John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that John was ever so slowly, silently sliding down his chair and under the table, while Mary acted quite unconcerned.

Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, Mary appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that John had disappeared under the table.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Oh, no he didn't. In fact, my husband just walked in the front door."

How rubber gloves made?

A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves...

"Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?"

She said, "No."

"Well", he spoofed, "down in Mexico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex and the workers are all picked according to hand size. Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in, and then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up and dries right onto their hands! Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big 'Finished Goods Crate' and start the process all over again."

And she didn't laugh a bit!!!

Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst out laughing. The old woman blushed and exclaimed, "I just suddenly thought about how they must make condoms!"

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